I love her, and I’m not ashamed!

“John is smiling with his mouth curled up on the left side of his face — the side controlled by the emotional right hemisphere. This smile shows he is really happy, but trying to play it cool. Look how he plays it cool by pulling his arm (that would normally be around her) all the way in and across his body like a bashful little boy.”

Um, okay!!! The above quote is from some silly body-language article on the Us Weekly site. Apparently Jessica Simpson and John Mayer (whom the good boys at Us Weekly have dubbed “Johnnica”) are totally ‘on’.

Would you like my interpretation? The inner Lesbo in John is finally beginning to emerge. Ha! Kidding. I think they’re cute together, but this picture totally makes John look like a perv. And enough with the blasted celebrity-name hybrids. Too stupid. That shit lost its charm with ‘Brangelina’.

Oh, and that is one HUGE bottle of demon liquor on their table.

Source: Us Weekly

Sargeant Pepper’s lonely farts club.

I always told myself that I was not going to lower myself by doing a gossip blog and talking shit about ‘the famous’.  But I was lying, I guess, cause here I am, doing a gossip blog and talking shit about ‘the famous’.  Silly, huh? But anyway, what am I supposed to do with my insomnia?  I’ve got the “Midnight Disease” in a sick, motherfuckin’ way. Seriously, check the times on these posts if you doubt me.

Anyway, back to Sienna Miller and Jamie Burke (is that his name? I don’t care enough to check. All I know is that he is a tall and skinny man-whore)!   What is this, exactly? It looks like the summer of ‘68 up in here. They probably smell like a million thirty-year-old mothballs.   He looks like he’s teaming with VD and she looks like a hobo, emphasis on the “ho” part.

Is that ‘Toto’?

Orlando Bloom purloined a little doggie from a Pet Store in Jamaica yesterday and no one said anything because he’s really cute. Just Kidding. He wasn’t in Jamaica, and I’m pretty sure that this photo shows him holding a friend’s doggie, not a stolen one. But that former story seemed more exciting than the latter, aka the truth.

So I guess things went bust with Penelope, eh? Isn’t she snogging Josh Hartnett? Last I heard she was — and this comes from those advocates of truth aka Us Weekly. Ha-Ha.

I miss Kate Bosworth.

She needs darker boots

Otherwise, she actually looks pretty cute. I don’t like her new boyfriend, though. He’s one of those ugly rocker guys who girls find “hot” because he’s got like a skinny, hot body. Who cares about ugly rocker boys with good bodies, though?  Not I.