Jesus Take The Wheel

I’m not trying to be difficult or anything, I just don’t feel that Drew Barrymore looks fit to drive. She looks sorta crazy, and Cameron looks sorta scared.

Jennifer Hudson At LAX

Um, what the hell is she wearing? Yeah, I get that she’s at the airport and probably dressing for comfort and all, but I have like two dollars in my bank account and I look better than this when I wake up in the morning (ok, sometimes).  That said, hey — at least  she was nice enough to take pictures with some fans!

Cannes-ker Sores

The Cannes Film Festival is officially a joke, right? Do people come here for movies anymore, or just to pimp their no-talent arses? I mean Pamela Anderson! She’s promoting that piece of crap movie she “acted” in with Denise Richards (a thespian to outdo all thespians), called Blonde and Blonder or some mess like that.

Some more no talent Cannes-kers who showed up: Jessica Simpson, Bai Ling, and Chloe Sevigny. Okay, Chloe probably belongs there because she actually is an actress and all, but she’s just kinda nasty, so it seemed appropriate to include her with this bunch.

Jessica Simpson Is Happy

When People magazine asked Jessica Simpson about her split with John Mayer at the Cannes Film Festival, she made this statement:

I am very happy, but I don’t really want to talk about my personal life tonight because it’s not what it’s about. But I am very happy. I will let you know that.

She’s happy because feebled-minded persons are always happy, I think. Her statement doesn’t even make any sense when you stop to think about it — that is you have the time for such trifles. Also, I was trying to figure out why she was at Cannes in the first place, but then I remembered that Pamela Anderson was there, too. It all made sense after that.