Hi Folk!

I have a really hectic week ahead so I prob won’t be able to post too much.  I will try, though, cuz it’s real fun.  Anyway, in case I’m not back by then:  I sincerely hope that all of you have a marvelous 4th of July and whatever comes before and after that.   Please visit my kind blog buddies in the interim:

Leave Um Alohan  (A gossip blog, and a real funny one!)

Noticias-Chismes   (A gossip blog, and a real funny one!)

The Beatniks  (A gossip blog, and a real funny one!)

P.S.  Danae and Jane:  thanks fifty times over for being such smashing slags! 

Sienner got denied

Sienner Miller learned the hard way that being a human hobby horse is no guarantee of love from English doormen.  Yes, I know her name is “Sienna” so spare me the pedantic comments.  

Anyways, Sienner was out looking for some love and some special treatment by eschewing the line at the front door of some club.  She thought it’d be cool to go through the backdoor to skip the line because she’s “famous” and all, but she got the shock of her life when the doorman freaking denied her admittance and told her hobby horse ass to join the mere mortals at the entrance.

Her body language says:  Pissed.  Stunned.  Shamed.  The doorman could give a toss, though — look at him!   All was well when she finally got inside, though.  P. Diddy even serenaded her.  So it all paid off or something!

Sorcery

Rufus Wainwright hearts Beyonce

I mean hates Beyonce!   Says Ruf, “I’m really sick of Beyonce. All of her songs are formulaic and produced in a way that’s utterly mesmerising [sic] in the basest way.  There’s no enlightenment. Like most mainstream pop these days, it’s more of a scientific experiment than an artistic experience.”

P.S.  Rufus needs to stop guzzling the haterade — Beyonce is the new  Radiohead.

Sorcery

Wow!

Um, will someone tell Sarah Michelle Gellar that she is wearing a really stupid jumper?  Thanks!

Everything is not Jake

Is Jake Gyllenhaal bi-polar or something?   Because I heard some really disturbing news that he may be wooing Jessica Simpson.    He used to sort of date Reese Witherspoon.  Jessica  and Reese  don’t even belong in the same sentence!   Reese is talented and scrupulous.  Jessica  is neither of these things. 

Okay, I’m being harsh.   Jessica can sing a tune, just not one I’m clamoring to hear.  Didn’t Reese publicly say that Jessica’s “stupid act” pissed her off a few short years ago?  She did, I remember.   She said something about Paris and Jessica and how it irritiated the hell out of her how they had this “I’m so dumb, isn’t it cute?” act and that it was a bad message for little girl-folk.  

Whatever!  If this is true, Jake Gyllenhaal needs some Lithium or something.  But I’m sure it ain’t true, peeps — simmer down already.

She’s Awesome!

Quim Kim Kardashian is gross.   I don’t know her, but I don’t like her.  Not at all.  Not that she cares.  Quim Kardashian is gross.  Did I already say that?  Here she is on some stupid street in Hollywood looking stupider than usual.   Eww.  I’m starting to hate my job.  I mean I keep running across pictures of her and I don’t know why.  Who the hell is she and what does she do?  No, don’t answer that.  Because I really don’t even want to know.   

The End of an Era?

Pete Doherty broke Kate Moss’s fragile little heart.   The two lovers had a monster fight last week and Pete went ahead and made it worse by spreading his love around with another woman!   Bastard cheated on Kate!   Who would do something like this?  And I mean let Pete Doherty within 5 feet of  them without a vaccine handy?  Or maybe they did have one — I don’t know, I wasn’t there!

He was spotted “kissing and cuddling” with some lady named “Lindy.”   Lindy must be blind and and impaired in the olfactory department.  And mentally retarded.  The news of this treachery sent poor Kate running off to Paris  Saturday night — in tears!

Damn him if they split up over this!  Those two together were hope to crackheads all the world over and fuel for us blogging folk.   Knowing Kate, though, she’ll be ready to sink further into ruin in six days max.   And by ’sink further into ruin’ I mean she’ll be back inside Pete’s scabrous arms.

Sorcery

Someone should punch her fingers

Just kidding.   Because then she’d fall and sprain her ankle or something, and that would  be real bad news!   Eva Longoria and her fiance, Tony Parker Slash had their joint bachelor’s and bachelorette party in St. Tropez this past weekend or whatever and this was the most sophisticated shot of the event that I could find!   She impersonates a monkey real good.

That joint bach party is actually a good idea, though.  More peeps should do this.  Eva prob planned this to seem like a real cool and permissive chick, but more actually, she probably did it to keep an eye on her man.   Anyways, the modest and camera-shy couple will wed in Paris soon.   I wish them all the joy in the world and I hope they take a LONG honeymoon.

Did Someone order a ho on the rocks?

Damn, that looks like it hurts!  I’m okay with that, though.   So Paris is getting right to work on that charity stuff she was yapping about when her spoiled rotten arse was in jail!  By the way, I was thumbing through that retarded-ass People Cover Story about her, and she basically repeated everything she said in that article when she was talking to Larry King.

I don’t know, but If I had just undergone a metamorphoses in jail,  and realized that I was a spoiled and worthless fugly skank, my first order of business would be carting my arse off to the inner city to visit some poor kids and bring them some cookies and hugs, and not jetting off to Hawaii.   

On This Day in History

* Tom Wisdom is a British dude who was last seen in 300.  He was also in the first season of BBC’s “Mile High” as the unfortunate, but sorta hot, Marco.

1776:  John Hancock signed the Declaration of Indepedence.

1839: 53 slaves on La Amistad mutiny off the coast of Cuba.   There is a film based on this momentous occasion called Amistad.

1937:  Amelia Earhart disappeared from the face of the earth.

1947:  A UFO crashed in Roswell, New Mexico.  I think Tom Cruise was conceived on this day, as well.   Just kidding.

1964:  President Lyndon B. Johnson signs the Civil Rights Act of 1964, which prohibited “public” segregation.