Slag Alert!

A slag by the name of Rebecca Loos is opening her lips again and warning Posh Beckham that David Beckham might just cheat on her arse again now that he is in California, because California has such gorgeous women-folk. 

Loos is the former assistant of Posh and Becks and she also claims they had a nasty affair a few years ago in Spain.   She also says that the Beckhams should be mighty grateful to her because her (alleged) dalliance with Becks strengthened their damn marriage.   The fugly slag had this to say:  “In a way they should be glad it happened – it’s made them stronger. They even went on to have another child. Everything happens for a reason, even bad things.” 

In the same breath, however, she adds that she basically has no culpability in the affair.  She said: “He knew what he was doing when he seduced me.  He was married, he stood there and made those marriage vows.  David is the only one to blame – not me and not Victoria.”

She sucks.   I hate slags who mess with married men-folk!  And, yeah, if it’s true (which it, of course is) you are partially to blame, you skank!  It takes two to tango!  Especially in Spain.  By the way, this beautiful skank has her own Fansite!   It’s Skankyslag.org — I mean Rebeccaloos.org.   Here’s a pic of her with Posh back in the day, and one of her all alone in her fug glory.

   

Sorcery

    

Cameron Diaz in New Yawk

They gave Cameron Diaz a day off from promoting Shrek The Third!  Just kidding.  Here she is in New York being a normal person.   I sort of like her because she looks like she shops at the local mall.   That bag is hard-core huge and weird, though.

Missing Links

This bazooka is 25?!  Yeah, 25 BACKWARDS!    DANAE’S BORED

Lindsay Lohan hates being alone at night and always asks Samantha Ronson a girlfriend over.  She’s also been airbrushed to high hell on the cover of Tatler.  THE STAR BLOGGER

Ms. New Jersey has nice teethers.  And her pics were DUMB!   NOTICIAS-CHISMES

Dennis Rodman is still beautiful.   THE BEATNIKS

Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson being discreet about their emo love.  LEAVE UM ALOHAN

Need a Job?

If you want to work for a human turkey vulture and her twin sissy (not pictured) and not get paid, give these two billionaire’s a call!

Sorcery

I heart Kafrine McPheeces

My day just keeps getting brighter!  Just kidding — as if these silly celebrities influence my quotidian existence in any way, shape or form.  Anyways, Kafrine McPheeces is going to be in another movie, except this time people will probably go see it because it also stars a little-known thespian named Adam Sandler.   Damn it!   I officially loathe American Idol for smiting us with these irritating camera-chewing mongrels!

By the way, here is Kaf being humble and minding her own damn business at Urtth Cafe, which is where you go when you are willing to be raped by 8 billion camera lenses.

Caligula

Gladiator sandals are all the rage in H-wood.  As with all sordid trends ushered in by Hollywood, expect to see these puppies at Target and Wal-Mart pretty soon — in infant sizes. 

P.S. The Romans would have called these “boots” though, and not sandals.  Caligula  just means “little boots”.  That crazy bitch was so-named because he used to follow his military daddy around dressed up like a wittle soldier.   Whatevs.  

Kate and Suri and a blankie

Suri Mapother is cute as hell despite being the spawn of aliens.  I wonder if she’ll get more financial aid for college because of this?   Whatevs, I digress.   I sort of love seeing pics of famous scientologists and dey babies.   Suri’s the cutest alien baby out there!  I also dig Kate’s Speedracer haircut a whole lot!   The bagpipe pants have gots to go, though!

P.S.  Suri is runnin’ scared!  

Pippa Longstocking

Kate Middleton has a sissy named Pippa!   Anyways, if that weren’t news in and of itself, the British press thinks she’s a bloody clone of Kate!   The evidence they cited was the ”fact” that she dresses just like Kate and has a similar layered hairstyle.   Um, sisters do stuff like this and it usually doesn’t mean shit, but whatevs.  They don’t even look alike to me at all.  But they do both look right around 12 feets tall.  

I wish my name was Pippa, though.   That’s just uber-cool. 

P.S.  Pippi Longstocking was my favorite raggedy-ass character when I was a kid.  Did anyone see that 80s movie they made about her?   That was really cool.

P.P.S.  Jane found some really neat clips from the Pippi Longstocking film.  Click HERE for some unadulterated entertainment. 

On This Day in History: The Beckham’s are Herrrrre

100 B.C. — Julius Caesar possibly born on this day – or yesterday, like I already said.

40 B.C. — Gnaeaus Julius Agricola born.  He was the father-in-law and subject of a biography by the greatest Roman historian, Tacitus.  You all should go read it, it’s about the Roman invasion of Britain.

1822 — Greek War of Independence:  The Greek peeps defeat the Ottoman’s at Thermopylae — the same area King Leonidas and the 300 died pretty completely and bravely in 480 B.C. 

1863 — New York Draft Riots — The most deadly in U.S. History break out when folk are forced to partake in the Civil War.   Whites take out their rage on African Americans in New York City.  Sick and sad!

1923 — The Hollywood Sign is erected in the Hollywood Hills.  It originally marked a real estate development and also had four extra letters, the word ‘land’ i.e., Hollywoodland.

* The Beckham’s finally arrived in Los Angeles yesterday.   I slept better last night because of this, which is why I’m so bloody LATE on posting shit. If you give a damn, I’m mondo-apologetic!