Shag or Gag ?

Is Colin Farrell retired?  When the hell is he going to be in another damn movie?  

P.S.  There used to be another picture here but I yanked it because it wasn’t loading properly.  I don’t think you’ll miss it, though!

Click these links or I’ll punch you in the gut.

What in God’s name is this shit?  [ The Beatniks ]

Evan Rachel Wood may be preggers with the devil’s child.  [ Dotspotter ]

Pictures of John Mayer making love to his guitar.   Don’t laugh!  It’s smarter and hotter than Jessica Simpson! [ Gossip Genius ]

As always, mes amies:  [  Noticias-Chismes, Danae's Bored, Mala Vida. ]

Drew Barrymore’s starting to look like Madonner

Does Drew Barrymore live in her car?  Because every picture of her lately she’s at the steering wheel looking pissed off and sad.  I’m exaggerating.  I think there’s like one other picture of her at the steering wheel, but she does always manage to look pissed off and sad!   Oh, the pratfalls of fame.

P.S.  Does she look a little like Madonna or am I smoking crack?   Don’t answer that!

 

On This Day in History: August 10. 2007

610:  Muhammed begins receiving the Qur’an.

1519:  Ferdinand Magellan’s 5 ships begin their circumnavigation around the blobe.

2003:  Kent, England reaches 101 degrees — the highest temp ever recorded in England.

2007:  A mouse was caught on camera kissing a grown-ass man.   Oh, that’s Hilary Duff!  Nevermind!

Daily Quote, Illustrated

“What is a rebel?  A man who says no.”

[ Albert Camus ]

Bird Flu

Damn, these British birds are dropping like flies!   Lily Allen just cancelled some shows due to “illness.” At least she didn’t say “exhaustion” because I would have beat her ass if she did!  

Says Lily via her Myspace page:  “Ive have literally been around the whole world in two weeks. . . and now I’m back in London eating my mums chicken soup cause im afraid the travelling has caught up with me.   I’ve got sinusitis and strep throat ( i don’t even know what that is ) and have been advised to take a couple of weeks off by a doctor in LA and a doctor here.”

By the way, have you ever been to Lily’s MySpace page?   It’s really cute!

Sorcery

Yeah, exhausted.

Amy Winehouse finally got her arse dragged to rehab after her episode with “exhaustion” on Wednesday.   “Exhaustion” is the new hot way to say one suffered from a drug overdose or something!  They think we’re idiots, folks!   A friend of Amy’s told the press that:  “She looked like a zombie — white as a sheet and trembling. . . and I’ll never forget her eyes. They were dead, like a shark. Even Amy says she will be dead within one year.”

Sharks have dead eyes?

Why would one want to emulate an Alien?

If any of you slags are fans of the Daily Mail, you probably are getting used to this dumb slag!   She wants to be Posh!   Yeah, so does Tom Cruise, but that’s not the point.  Anyways, this slag is named Chanelle Hayes and she rose to fame (ha ha) on the reality show Big Brother in England. 

Here’s a quote from the dumbass:  “I still think my Posh persona is brilliant, but now I’ve been given the chance to create as much of my persona as I can and that’s what I want to do. I’m pretty OK being me.”

God, she’s stupid! 

Sorcery 

She has great taste in menfolk.

Mel B.’s new husband is a convicted wife-beater.   Damn, she has atrocious taste in men!  Low standards all-around.   I mean I know peeps can change and all, but why take any bloody chances?   Anyway Stephen Belafonte once “battered the mother of his three-year-old daughter in a ‘malicious and unlawful’ drunken frenzy.  Damn that’s Scary!

Friends of Melanie say that she was shocked to find this out, but that she went on ahead with the marriage with “open eyes” and that she know’s he’s “no angel.”  Open or closed, though?  Ha Ha.  Just kidding.    By the way, calling someone “no angel” is just a polite way to call them the spawn of satan who are trying to change their ways.

I HATE lady beaters!

Sorcery

Uh, what the hell did they accomplish?

Did anyone see Larry King last night with Melanie Brown oops I mean Belafonte?   She set the record straight about the Pluto Nash sitcheeashun, and said stuff like this:  “I want to stand up for all the other single parents/mothers out there that are in the same position as me.”

Hmm.   Dumb enough to date Eddie Murphy and an ex-Spice Girl?  Just you!   Oh, just kidding.   I love Mel B.  She’s way hot!   Did you see the baby?  She’s cute!   By the way, was anyone expecting Me’s voice to sound like car wheels on a gravel road?  That was cute, too. 

You can’t give the Boz a ticket! Dumbass!

Kate Bosworth looked really happy and slightly crazy the other day until she got pulled over by the po-po!   Ha.   Just kidding.  No I’m not!   She did get pulled over by the po-po and she did look a little nuts.  No worries.  That bitch better not have given the Bozzie a ticket, though!   She’s God!  

This album rox.

Here’s a pic of PJ Harvey, because she’s the coolest.   I’m a little tired and I need to take a damn nap or something.   Be back laters with some posts about slag celebrities.