WTF?

Suri Bloody Cruise is the new face of Baby Gap.  That’s so cute!  No it isn’t — that’s so gross!   WTF?  Tom and Katie are sick assholes for this and I don’t even know why.

P.S.  Tom has never looked more like a stereotypical “gray”‘ than he does in this picture.

 Sorcery

Kelly Rowland in a 2-Piece

Hot!   The weave is doing nothing for her, though.  I hate weaves!  Unless they look nice.  Oprah, Tyra, and Paris Hilton  all rejected this one, what the bloody hell does that tell you?  And don’t kill me for talking about weaves!   Anyways, Kelly looks just about perfect!

P.S.  I tagged this under “Fugly Swimsuits” just because that’s how I tag all pictures of slags in swimsuits, okay?  Deal with it!   Or don’t.

Enough, all bloody ready!

Saying that Whorlando Bloom looks like a pornstar circa 1974 is getting old!  It’s like the Macarena of puns.  Knock it off.  My bitch is still hot.  Okay, no he ain’t, but there’s a hot piece lurking under all that fug.  It’s just a matter of time, bitches, before he goes back to his old perfect self.  Believe dat! 

Source:  TMZ

Ronald McDonald had a sex change op?

You mean that’s not the clown from McDonalds?  That’s Christina Aguilera?  OMG, I feel so DUMB!   Of course that’s her.  Slag needs some more make-up on, though.  Baby steps!

P.S.  Is it McDonald’s or MacDonald’s?   

She did NOT say this. Right?

This is just sick and sad!   Someone give Kevin those damn babies STAT.

What the Hell Are they Both Wearing?

This Picture has caused rumours that Mandy Moore and John Mayer are dating. Did she borrow from his wardrobe?

Posted by The absolutely gorgeous Janers

On This Day in History: August 15

* Damn!   There are at least 50,000 guys out there who may be shagging Sienners!  The latest story says she’s boinking that dude she met onthe set of this fug movie!  But I called this like months ago!  Check the ‘Sienner’ posts if you don’t believe my arse!  His name is Matthew Rhys and he likes girls with big ass heads!   By the way, Amy Winehouse will not be gracing the cover of next month’s Vogue… that honor is going to — guess who — Hobby Horse Miller! 

778:  Roland, that guy from The Song of Roland dies in Battle.

1769:  Napolean Bonaparte is born.  His mamma was in labor for a very short amount of time.  Ha Ha. 

1969:   Woodstock! 

Sorcery

Clive Owen has teethers!

Okay, that’s not news, is it?  Are those Da  Vinci veneers?  Is there some psycho out there who’s been following his career and his teethers and can shed some light for us losers?  Nevermind.  I’m kidding and I’m bored.  I just like to post pictures of Clive Owen for no good reason.   Go back to work or whatever the hell you were doing — unless of course you were murdering somebody or shagging Paul Banks or Orlando Bloom.  Definitely don’t go back to that because it’s EVIL and WRONG and they’s mines!   

Give me a godamn break

Yeah, folks.   Jessica Alba is playing a blind woman in her next movie.   I have a feeling she’s gonna have eye surgery and all will be well in about ten minutes after the opening credits roll because no one is going to watch a movie with Jessica Alba playing a blind person unless she’s wearing an effing bikini.  Or she’s invisible.  Or she’s nekkid.

Can’t this slag “see” that she can’t act for bloody beans?   Ha Ha.    

Shag or Gag ? Travis Oliver!

I bet no one’s ever heard of this slag!   He’s Travis Oliver and he played Garry Ryan’s druggie son, Oliver, in Footballers Wives Overtime (or Extratime if you’re a Brit).  Me thinks he’s hot and I would definitely do a shag.

James Blunt is creepy

James Blunt is mad as hell and he’s not gonna take it anymore!   That You’re Beautiful song of his has just been dissed as the most irritating song of all time in a recent poll and he feels that people who criticize his godawful songs need therapy! 

Says James:  ”Off to the counsellor with you, mate.  Because it’s nothing to do with me. . . I’m pretty sure I’m not a horrid person.  I don’t think I am.”

You izz horrid, bitch!  Your song is horrid, and your gassy, ill-at-ease facial expressions izz horrid!  Damn, that was blunt!   By the way, what the hell is up with him saying that people who think his shitty song is shitty need to go see a head shrink?  That’s so stupid!  James Blunt needs to piss off before I sucker punch him in his stupid nasty face.  Yes, off to the “counsellor” with me!

Sorcery

There’s a light that never goes out

This little tidbit fell out of the clouds or something because there’s no real explanation for it.   Anyhow, Sienners Miller just told some moron that she will love Judes forever no matter what crimes he committed against her.  And by “crimes” I mean Nanny Shagging.  “Our stolen moments were bliss,” Sienners said.   Wuzz they?  Who the BLOODY HELL cares? 

P.S.  The title of this post is the name of a Smith’s song.   It seemd to fit.  I don’t know why I posted a pic of Sienners crying, though.  Pathos! 

Sorcery