The Daily Mail reminds us that Crack is a good weight loss aid

Yes folk, it’s breaking news that Petey has gained a few. I guess he really is clean.

Source

Disturbing Behavior

I bet if you peeked inside Barbara Walters’ closet and then peeked inside Katie Holmes’, you’d be looking at the same crap!   Talbots!  St. John!  Chico’s! Babs would probably have sluttier shoes, though!

Is that AnusChin?

While I was sleeping on the jobber yesterday I missed some profound stuff!   Anyway,  Britney Spears aka FrappuccinHo, was verbally assaulted by a woman (who looks suspiciously like Jennifer AnusChin) whilst leaving a Starbuck’s in L.A. with her little sister, Jamie-Lynn.

Basically, the woman told her that she was screwing up the neighborhood and that they didn’t want the likes of her around.   In so many words, Jamie-Lynn told her to “phucking move, then.”   She’s so getting fined!  Ha Ha Ha.   I like Jamie-Lynn!  Brit could learn a lot from her.

Team Brangelina!

Beyonce

I like Bed, Bath & Beyonce’s new hair!   What’s the problem, peoples?  I have heard a lot of bad stuff about the new hair color.  I like it.   Stop bashing her or else I’ll start getting angry.  Like you care.  I don’t even care!  You can go ahead and bash the new hair  if you want. 

More Mess!

Interpol fans have lives, peoples!  Someone on a certain board which shall remain nameless (mainly because I don’t want to get socked in da face), decided to stand up for themselves against the charge that fans who haunt messboards are creepy losers with no lives!  Again, ALL NAMES HAVE BEEN CHANGED.   * Thanks for the pics Morgan and Lala!!!   * Daniel Kessler has a Roman nose! That’s hot!

Here goes!

Because of the charges that we, people who post [ omitted], have nothing to do, that we don’t have a life, that we don’t have friends or a job to fill our empty lives, I decided to ask everyone what do you do. Just tell us if you have a job, or if you at school or college. Just to prove them that we are people with empty lives, that we have absolutely nothing to do, that we have many time to spend in thousands of boards.  Let’s start with myself. By morning I go to college. I’ll graduate in Journalism next year. By evening I also go to college, to study Law. By Saturday morning I attend French Classes. By Saturday afternoon I hang out with my friends.

Anonymous Koward [Sic] 
The way I feel about this is-we don’t need to justify ourselves to anyone else. If we love Paul and want to post here, that’s our business. Anyone who’s going to call us losers, or lifeless about it obviously has nothing better to do with their time either, right? I will say a few things about myself, though, because I’m new

 Britney Spears
I’m a junior in high school, but when I finish I plan on going to college for art. <3 Well, that’s what I think I want to do, but that might change in a year or two.    But other than that, I hang out with my friends whenever possible. And spending time in forums/ect takes only a half hour out of my day.

 Troublers

1pm: smoke pot
3pm: stalk http://www.interpolnyc.com/forums
5pm: stalk google images for carlos d naked
5.30pm: stalk google images for paul banks naked
8pm: drink
12pm: stalk google for paul banks slash
3am: smoke, sulk and cut myself  
i have a life. i’m not a loser. love me.

Rafe Spall

work from 8:30-5:00. monday – friday
then to the gym for an hour or two (new routine)
then home for shower,sleep, and other things
weekends are spent with family and friends.
college in the spring.
oh yea. im 18, female, and live in vegas
all other down time is spent loving and obsessing about interpol & paul bank. k thanks bye.

Harlequin
 
I have a very very busy life also: From 00-12pm I spend all my time in Apocalyptica Forums and chats, gattering their private info because Im going to Finland to probably kidnap Eicca. From 12pm-6pm I spend my time in Rammstein & Emigrate forums, Trying to find where he lives in NY and where he lives in Germany because I want to kidnap his car (This dude have a fantastic $$ car! and well.. maybe him also) then! and only then! from 6pm till 10pm I visit all the possible Interpol Forums to recollect data about Paul, ’cause I want to write like him… that’s all!!  LMAO. Naa!! just kidding!! I agree with you all, we don’t need to justify ourselves burt, I will just answer ’cause you guys did.  [She proceeded to answer but her reality was surprisingly dull compared to this, so I'll skip it]

Jennifer Lopez
 
I’m an English teacher who is currently in the process of moving to another city and school. School starts next week and it’s nice having Interpol playing in an empty classroom. (I’m currently “renovating” my new classroom.)
On the weekends I usually hang out with my friends and/or enjoy my quiet time with reading and writing. We may be Harry Potter freaks who take an occasional road trip to another state to see a band we love, but other than that, I think most would agree that I have plenty to do.  There will always be elitist fans who think that they are too cool to bother with anyone else. They can just shove it as far as I’m concerned.
 
Kanye West
 
i like visiting the MB every now and then, but i feel some of them have sticks up their bums, and i’d rather be a part of a fandom that doesnt judge so harshly. Muse fans are so much more line-crossing, and yet we all accept it and dont care, we just have fun with it, and if it bugs us, we remove ourselves.  oh and i am an intern..graduated with a BA in english last year…need a real job! and music is my pace-maker.

Luv Her!

Jessica Simpson has already stunk up pop music and  film,  and she would now like to bring her special brand of fug talent to foul up the country music genre.  That is a direct quote from her father!   Oh, and she is also looking for a place to live in New York because that is where she plans to record her country album!   Says Jessica-ca:  ”I’m looking at places because my record label is in New York and I want to be close to that and I’m singing again. . . I’m looking forward to it.”

You is, Jessica?   That makes one whole person! 

Sorcery

Who The Bloody Hell Kerrs?

Some crackhead is reporting that Whorlando Bloom enjoyed a swell meal with an Australian model named Miranda Kerr this weekend.   That means they izz dating!  Shagging!   A source said that:  ”They looked really happy together, and spent most of the evening cuddling and touching each other.  They definitely looked like a couple.”

Okay!   But um, Whorelando cuddles and touches anything and everything!   That includes Jennifer AnusChin!   Sigh.  This is boring.   I wouldn’t mind punching him in the phucking nose real soon for all this blatant and incessant cheating.

P.S.  I know that’s not Whorelando Bloom in the pic.  It’s Rupert Friend and Keira Knightley.  But he wants to be Whorly, so I’ve granted him his stank wish.  

Sorcery

Daily Quote, Illustrated

“I envy paranoids; they actually feel people are paying attention to them.”

[ Susan Sontag ]

On This Day in History — October 9, 2007

769:  Carlomani I and Charlemagne are coronated as the kings of France.  Break out the Bartles & James, bytches!

1000:  Leif Ericson is the first Eurpean to set foot in North America.  It is not Columbus, peoples!  Or something like that.

1776:  Mission San Francisco de Asis is founded in San Francisco.  You can just call it Mission Dolores, though.  They totally ephed over the Indians, so this is really not a cause for celebration or anything.  

1824:  Slavery abolished in Costa Rica.

1969:  PJ Harvey is born!   She’s da best!  I’ve posted this picture before, but who cares about that.  This is a really good record. 

PJ Harvey is A Year Older!

Many of you won’t give a damn.   That makes me sad!   Because PJ is aces.  I won’t try to make a sales pitch here because I’m aware of how irritating that can be.  Whatever, here’s a clip of her singing “Shame” on some TV show!   

Because I’m Spiteful and Jealous!

Did anyone see Napoleon Dynamite?  Do you remember when Napoleon was riding his bike and his uncle threw a football at his head?  Can someone throw a football at Gisele’s head?   Ha Ha.  Just kidding.   But it would make a lot of womenfolk over at Splash News Online very happy!