On This Day In History: A Goddess Was Born!
1926: My homegirl, Marilyn Monroe nee Norma Jean Mortenson, was born in Los Angeles. W00t! Damn, Marilyn would have been like 82 years old today. I think! My math blows! Marilyn was a hot angel and I will love her forever and ever. She had a good spirit. Most of her movies are horrid, though. Some Like It Hot, however, was brilliant. By the way, I am such a damn nerd that I went to Marilyn’s house in Brentwood last year. It was so awesome. It so was!
The Price Is Not Right
Finally! A reason to do a Phoebe Price post! She showed up at a Chanel thingy, and they turned her away with a quickness. How bloody embarassing, really. Slag got all sorts of frazzled and upset, too. See how she’s flipping people off and spitting venom? Poor thing.
Her agent, publicist, and manager are all totally getting phucking fired for this. Actually, that’s not a good idea because she acts as her own agent, publicist, and manager.
Photos: Courtesy of Posh24.
Susan Sarandon Is Cool Beans
Susan Sarandon has informed the world that if John McCaingets elected next November, her arse is going all ex-patriot and shit. She’s thinking Italy or Canada. Says Susan, “It’s a critical time, but I have faith in the American people.” She’s a better person than I am, because I have next no faith in the American people. I mean, these re-re’s elected a re-re. Twice. If I had the bones to move to Italy or Canada I’d have been there seven years ago.
Also, Susan is not voting for Hillary Godam Clintonsimply because she’s a woman. Actually the way I phrased that makes it seem as though she is voting for Hillary, but not because she’s a woman, but for other reasons. She’s not voting for Hillary at all, slags! Last time I checked, she was backing Obama. Says Susan: “I thought the whole point of feminism is that you’re not supposed to be defined by gender. I don’t understand the reasoning behind that, because I wouldn’t vote for Condoleezza Rice, and I hated Margaret Thatcher.”
Thank you, Susan! You’re a hot bytch and so is your boyfriend. I love Tim Robbins.
Sorcery (I think)
Is Starving Aloud ?
The Daily Mail seem to think that Cheryl Cole, the hottest of the Girls Aloud slags (my favorite singing group of all time!!!), is wasting the phuck away. I wouldn’t know because they neglected to post pics of what she looked like before she stopped eating the bangers and mash.
They think it has to do with her marriage situation. It’s just like an episode of Footballers Wives, really, only boring. Her foul husband, Ashley, shagged some hobag like 5 months ago. Since then, she has ceased to wear her wedding ring. But maybe none of this is related! Maybe she just wants to be skinny and her ring fell off because her fingers got too skinny or something. It’s plausible.
If you have no idea who Cheryl Cole is, bully for you. But she is one of those rare birds who’ll actually tell Lily Allen the shut the phuck up. For that, she is aces.
How Many GD Tools Can You Fit Into 1 Picture?!
Three, as it turns out! Nasty. Pete Wentz is interviewing Spencer Pratt for his new MTV show, and Heidi tagged along. They are so fake and re-re. This show is going to be great. It’s Pete interviewing random hobaggery on the streets of L.A. or something. Yep. By the way, if you don’t know who these people (and I use that term loosely) are, consider yourslef mighty fortunate.
Bonus News! Ashlee Simpson is now officially Ashlee Simpson-Wentz! W00t!
Prince Lesbian Is Way Hot
I think I’ve found an alternate Orlando for the time being. Orlando is playing hard to get and hiding and shiz and I can’t be dealing with his mess right now. Prince Lesbian Caspian will do. I mean Ben Barnes! ♥ ! (Thank you, Ali-ers, I never figured how to do that heart shiz until you came along that one bright, shiny day.) The prince looks kind of feminine. But seriously, that’s not a bad thing. I like girly men and I’m just going to have to deal with that. Especially girly men in fantasy, period pieces. I should start writing slash. Yep!
Here’s a couple more pics of The Lesser Whorelando.
Can’t Hardly Wait!
I totes hate this ephing movie poster, but I am still going to be there on opening day with a knapsack full of oats, honey, and sugar cubes. Don’t ask why. I think this mess opens in November, though. Why? That’s soooooooo far away. Whatevs, I’m ordering my tickets on Fandango right nowz just in case it sells out.
I quite like how the poster blurb reads: “Keira and Sienna deliver the best performances of their lives.” That’s really not saying much because neither one of these bazooka’s ever did great work. And what about the other hobags in this film? Do they not knock their roles out of the water, too? In addition to being lame, this praise seems a tad premature! It’s robbing these two bactresses of their ambition.
It’s A Bloody Love Triangle
Pete Doherty is in love with Amy Winehouse and has been for the past four years. Kate Moss is gonna feel so used when she hears about this. It seems that Pete proposed to Amy way back when, and blames her current incarcerated drug-faced husband, Blake Fielder-Civil for her current situation. He’s even fired off an impassioned letter to Blake, suggesting that he relieve her of her wifely duties so that the two of them can continue their ill-starred love affair.
So sayeth a source: ”Pete has written to Blake and told him bluntly to do the decent thing. If he loves Amy, let her go. . . Pete explained in his letter to Blake that he genuinely believes if he and Amy had got together then, they would’ve weathered the storms of fame together and not have succumbed to addiction or depression. He thinks they’re two halves of the same coin, stronger together than apart. And he blames Blake for hurting Amy and getting her in this mess.”
Yeah, we get it. Blake + Amy = depravity, and Pete + Amy = paradise. Or something.
The Hills Slags Doing… Nothing
Last week I admitted to watching a few episode of this shiz. I think I even managed to say something polite about Lauren Conrad and some of these spazzes. I take it back! I take all of it back and then some. Seriously, this show is putrid and these slags iz stupid. And Lauren Conrad is no GD fashion icon, okeys?
Here’s some comments I found on ONTD regarding the above pic and the ones after the page break.
- idk who that chick in the ugly blue dress is but i want to punch her in the face.
- Whitney’s style is flawless! Lauren needs to stfd pretending to be some kind of fashion icon – stupid Nicole Richie wannabe
- looks like they are reading a script.
- That show is the most boring ever. I think Heidi and Spencers are douches but at least they provide some kind of entertainment, Whitney and Lauren just sit there and play with their hair. Watching them having a conversation equals cure for insomnia.
- Who is the bitch in the blue leggings? WHYYY?!
- Who’s the one everyone hates?
- Hai guyz ur script iz showing!!!!!!1
Sorcery: ONTD
What In The Taco Truck Hell Is Going On In The JJ Orlando Bloom Thread?
The Orlando Bloomers are already aware of this, I suppose. But there are 2000+ comments on that GD post about him and the crass dingo doing their grocery shopping. You know, the pics where she has her wallet out and he’s pushing the shopping cart with constipation face (see below) …
Anyway, the post is like ground-zero for dingo-dissing and various other indoor sports. It’s so crowded in their, slags are even suggesting jacking other Orlando posts (ones with less comments, you know, so their screens won’t freeze):
- We need a new thread because I have been trying to get into this one for hours.
- how about pick an old ob post with less comments?
- Which one should we pick. The one were hes on a motercicle?
- I think that is a good idea really, it would be good maybe the GQ one like someone suggested, but will everyone follow? I hope that they would!
- Just post the link to the thread we’re moving to and hopefully people will follow!
Hahahahahha! Feel free to witness the spectacle for yourself. No, forget it. Go HERE for the relocated thread. Janers tried to start up some gay rumors, bless her ♥!
Do Not Want
The New York Times wants to know if Tyra Banks is the next Oprah or Martha. I don’t ephing know! That all depends on whether or not she’s up for majestic weight fluctuations and spending time in jail for illegal activities. What I do know, is that she looks all sorts of creepy, like a cobra ready to pounce or something, on the cover. Fiercely fug.
Gasp!
Jennifer Hudson need to nip this ‘I just emerged from a bomb shelter and I can’t believe I am a living, breathing person in this strange world’ look in the bud. It needs to stop because it’s false and annoying: I’ve read her interviews. Slag is not humble! Cute bob, though.
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