Hahahahahhahaha! Poor Cathedral Bozzers!

I am soooo glad I actually translated this Swedish blog!   Please read this, it’s super freaking hilarious.  Anyway, they seem to think Bozzers looks depressed and they seem to think it’s because of the saturation of Ms. Dingo Cabbage in the media.   And haha, Kate translates as “Cathedral!”

Here goes the translation: 

Cathedral Bosworth nots wholly over Orlando Bloom?! 

Söta Cathedral Bosworth saws somewhat dismal out when she was delivering carvery Lozenge in New York igår and had heal terms mobiltelefonen anti örat. Cathedral is ju still almighty fortunate in its sweetheart James Rousseau but able the maybe product so that the is badly that read if Orlando Bloom and his nya fondness Miracle Kerr in all magazines? Cathedral reveal ju precedence året that Orlando each hers first superb fondness and superb fondness is never relieve that come over. That read if that Orlando meet Mirandas orphan maybe reminder Cathedral if their procrastination although she is dear in James! Cathedral is currently current in film 21 passing on cinema in this town Sweden now and then is yous inquisitive so able yous watch trailern here below!  (There was a youtube link, but  I axed it.)

 

Who The Eph Is Searching Google For “Anners Scribonia”?

Stop that shit!   Stop it immediately.  It’s freaking me out.  I am not a celebrity, just some re-re, nostalgic hobag with too much free time and too little common sense.  

It’s Kate !

Kate Winslet got papped in NYC.   I love her perpetually.  I don’t like that she got papped!  Either did she, judging from these photos.  By the way, I think Kate is the only actress in the history of the world who no one can hate.  It’s impossible.  She has respect, yo!  That is so phucking rare. 

 

Scarlett Is Engaged To Alanis Morrissette’s Ex

That is all.  Oh wait one minute!   That is not all!  Check out his GD forehead!   It’s so weird! 

You Have Killed Me

 

^ Heartbreaker.

//

Okay, maybe I’ve been going overboard with the posts about my hurt feelings stemming from Whorelando’s dingo-shagging phase.   I say ‘phase’, because that’s how I’m going to have to view this shit.   If this shit lasts more than a few more months I am going to freak out and start ripping out my hair and clawing at the dirt like a fiend who’s lost herself.   Dump the dingo, motherphucker!   For the sake of all that is proper and correct in the world!   

You don’t understand.   I’ve thought Orlando was the handsomest man ever starting way back in 2003 or something when the second Lord of The Rings came out.  I didn’t give a shit about LOTR and I didn’t even see the first one, I think.  But I was watching E! and they were talking to Liv Tyler and his ass came out with those GD curly hairs and brown eyes and perfection and I instantly fell in love, even though he did look kind of like a flit.

It’s been a hardcore affair ever since.   I’ve wasted about 500 hours of my life watching shitty movies like Pirates of The Caribbean, Troy, Haven (!!!!!!!!),  Elizabethtown (okay, I didn’t see all of this one.  Too terrible), Ned Kelly (actually not shitty), and scouring messboards for dirt and quarrying them for hot shit pictures.   Messboards are a beautiful thing!  There is Kabloom (hahahahahaah), Legolas Greenleaf’s Orlando Love, and so phucking on.

I tolerated his dalliances with Kate Bosworth.  Mostly because she didn’t annoy me and she’s actually sort of charming.  And cute.   For some reason I can never say anything bad about her.  Oh wait:  she does need to shut the eph up about deferring her enrollment to Princeton.   Bitch, so did I.  I mean I’m deferring applying there for grad school.  Same difference.  Okay, maybe not!   But I was encouraged to apply there by one of my professors.  So booyah.

Listen, people.  I am not retarded and unstable, but I am in love!   We can’t control who we love.  Who cares if I never met this gorgeous asshat?   I still LOVE him.  And he has broken my GD heart, and rolled all over it with those phucking tennishoes with those wheels built in that kids wear (hahaha, Wheel Turner).  I don’t hate him or anything, but I hate what he’s doing to me and my psyche.   Joders, Wanda, and Cait all feel the same way I imagine.    

I don’t think I can continue pretending things are all right with me.  That would be false, and I am not a fake ass bytch.  I mean,  I literally turn on my computer with fear in my heart.  I’m afraid of the headlines!   There’s always some tidbit about that stank dingo whore and my boyfriend and it’s making me wretch.   I can’t face this shit anymore.   I don’t want to see her greasy phucking cabbage head anymore.  It’s nothing personal.  She’s just stalking me.  She’s on the TV now in her phucking underwear, winking at me and rubbing it in that my ephing boyphriend is massaging her animal junk each and every night.

 

I so hate her.

I’m so sad and I want to die.

It’s all your fault, Orlando Bloom!  And your momma’s fault!   Everything would be fine in my world had you simply never been born.  

Anners

P.S.  ”You Have Killed Me” Is an awesome song by Morrissey.