i’m henry the 8th i am…
oh wino. sometimes you do and say things that offer top notch entertainment value to me (and many others i’m sure). and this is one of those times.
apparently, a poltergeist named henry is haunting, threatening and physically hurting crackhouse.
per the article at showbizspy.com: A source close to the singer says, “She has a spare room in her house which she has been too terrified to redecorate because she believes a child died there. It has creepy airplane wallpaper and a weird feel to it.
“Amy is terrified because she thinks he’s managed to take over the entire house and has brought bad spirits with him that are scratching and harming her.”
wow ames – do you think that maybe if you laid off the pipe that just maybe the ghosts may magically disappear? or is that too much of a stretch for you? or are you sure you aren’t just catching glimpses of yourself in the mirror when you’re cracked out and confusing your image with that of a frightening apparition?
summer music festivals guide
i’m so glad pitchfork put this together. i always lose track of who is playing where and when. although the list is ridiculously thorough/overwhelming and will take you a year to read through! is anyone going to be making it to any of these festivals? there is a lot of fun and free stuff going on in nyc for the summer so that rules. yay lazy summer concert days! 
Lindsay And Her Dame Are In Cannes
Lindsay Lohan looks clean and pretty for once in her life and I like her hair. All of the opposite of what I just said can be attributed to her lady friend, Samantha. I think they’re at P.Diddy’s ephing Yacht party in Cannes. Barph. Photogs caught the two of them holding hands, nuzzling, and getting misty-eyed with each other. Those gossip bytches are always sensationalizing things! All I see are two young ladies who care about each other very much and I think that’s right proper awesome. If everybody loved each other this much, there would be no need for war, drugs, or religion in the world. I don’t even know what the hell that means!
Ugh!!!!!! Eph this cold I’ve been having all week! Okay. I’m going back to sleep I think.
Stupid. Very, Very Stupid.
Are you following the Denise Richards/Charlie Sheen situation? From what I gather, they don’t like each other all that much! They got divorced like 600 years ago, but every now and then some crap comes to the fore and they go at it like rabid dogs. It’s lame and disturbing. Fine. They HATE each other. But they need to keep their shit out of the press because there are children involved. Actually, they just need to keep their shit out of the press, period. Because nobody cares.
Their newest batch of fighting stems from Denise’s new gross reality show, It’s Complicated, on E! Entertaniment Weekly gave it a ‘D’: “Richards has a personal psychic, a personal tanning expert, a personal chiropractor, an amiable widowed father, and about 3,00o pets, and she still doesn’t have a lot going on.” HAHAHAHA! She’s retarded!
Richards says that she’s doing the show because her mother wanted her to do the show. She also says she’s doing the show because she’s phucking poor. Poor in spirit. This slag makes roughly 100K a month just because she’s the mother of nasty-ass Charlie Sheen’s children. He’s no angel, either, by the way. For instance, I don’t see how releasing an alleged email Denise sent to him, purportedly with her begging him for sperm, is helpful to this situation. Denise denies the email, by the way, saying Charlie made it up. Why?!
She also released the following statement about him: “Last week, I sent Charlie a text message asking him if he’s going to Family Day [for daughter Sam’s school] and letting him know Sam was sick with a cold. . . His response was, ‘I hope you and your worthless retarded father get cancer and join your stupid mom. Rot in hell you [bleeping] whore.’ My mom died of cancer. This is what I deal with on a weekly basis. He missed Dad’s day at the school, and my father had to go in his place. And this is how he talks to me?”
It’s so odd! She’s odd, he’s odd.
Random Stuffs
Where the hell is Kate Bosworth? And her evil genius impersonator? Coincidence? I think not!
* Oh, by the way! I am a bad, bad blog linker pal! Please check out these new, hot blogs that I’ve linked on the blogroll.
Nobody Told Me There’d Be Days Like These: Cait’s blog. By the way, Cait is a doll! She is also my very first reader. Yep. Way back in the early days of this re-re blog, she was there.
Blogspew: Ali-ers’ blog. She’s new ’round these parts and she has good taste in men.
Slacker-Chic: Cute blog about fashion, gossip.
The Unvisited Blog: Janers’ blog! I <3 Janers!
Also, this one’s not new, but go visit Noticias-Chismes because it’s one of the funniest blog evers! It’s Afro-Jamaicano’s blog. He comments here frequently and puts me to shame.
Have a good Friday, peoples!
Whatever
Beyonce and her husband, Jay Z have arrived at the airport in Nice, France! Isn’t that nice?! They are being transported to a posh ass hotel in Cannes and are probably already there dipping their toes in champagne whilst I write this. There are talks that Beyonce will be singing the title track for the new James Bond movie, Quantum of Solange. I mean Solace. Quantun of Solace. What a splendid, strange name for a movie. I give a big boo! to that, by the way. Mostly because I hate the way she sings. Sounds like an angel choking on spicy stardust.
Shag Or Gag?
WhOrelando Bloom, are you paying attention to this GD feature on this blog? Look at all the other contenders. You are not the only hot potato in the universe, okay? Shape your shit, or it’s over. Please dump the cantankerous dingo: she’s making you super fugly, and also she’s making slags question their unhealthy and obsessive feelings for you. You can’t want that.
Okay, I’m done with that.
Hey, it’s Ben Barnes! Would you shag or gag Prince Kaspian?! He’s British, he’s 26, and he’s all sorts of handsome.
P.S. WordPress is a selfish bytch! I had more pics but they won’t let me upload them. Jiminy Ephing Christmas!
Her Album Blows
According to the critics! That is not my own personal opinion… yet. Scarlett Johansson released her album of Tom Waits covers on Tuesday and music critics are trashing it all over the place. It’s not a bad idea, really, because Tom Waits has cool songs. If I was Scarlett Johansson and some tool was telling me I could put out an album just because I was an actress and for no other reason, I’d do the same ephing thing! I mean I would if I could sing.
- Rolling Stone : “Johansson’s voice is unremarkable and her pitch sometimes unsteady; she’s a faintly goth Marilyn Manson lost in a sonic fog. . .”
- Mojo: The recordings are ”fussy and forgettable.” They also added that the decision to begin the album with an instrumental was hardly a vote of confidence in Johansson’s vocal abilities.
- Entertainment Weekly : Her “expressionless voice” is buried “deeply in the druggy ambiance.”
- The Washington Post: It’s possible to listen to all 40-plus minutes of Johansson’s album and “still have no earthly idea what she sounds like. . . The album is ultimately too ethereal for its own good. Every song is like every other song, even the ones that sound different.”
That last line is pretty much the greatest thing I’ve ever heard. The slags over at NME liked her shit, though. Or maybe they had to because she’s on their cover. Poor Scarlett.
Source via OhNoTheyDidn’t
Marriage?! Iz U Serious?!
In Touch Magazine is such sleaze and cannot be trusted, but for the sake of this post I am going to semi-trust them. In short, they are under the impression that Drew Barrymore and Justin Long are planning on getting married or something. Boo! I don’t know why, but boo!
A source told the magazine that the following happened whilst Drew and Justin were grubbing on lunch at a ‘Los Angeles eatery’: “She said she wanted to find a wedding planner and he said they should look at engagement rings that day. But Drew said, ‘You know what I like, surprise me.’ They seemed very happy.”
Yeah, I know what she likes, too! She likes to get married and then get divorced two weeks later just for kicks. Ha, just kidding. I love Drew Barrymore! She’s cute and she moves her mouth all kinds of oddly when she speaks. It’s endearing.
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