I’m Just Doing This To Piss Off The Dingo…

My non-boyfriend, Whorelando Bloom used to be so ephing beautiful back in the day when he was in love with Kate and everything was great.  Sigh. 

Kate, look what you did!  You let him go and let him fall prey to a dingo!  I’m almost ashamed of you.  By the way, where is Sidi these days?  Did the dingo eat Sidi?!    

Really, people.  I am not crazy.  I am well aware that these pics are damn near three years old.  I’m trying to save Orlando from himself.  He’s crumbling faster than day-old cornbread.  If you’ve looked into his eyes lately, you’ll understand that he is in a deep and perfect crisis.  He doesn’t know what he’s doing!  He’s being taken advantage of by a manipulative, fame-hogging mammal.  I’m trying to remind him of what he used to be.

Should the dingo stumble across this post she’ll start crying.  I’m sure of it.  She’ll start crying and she’ll disappear. 

Note to the dingo:  I’m on to you, hobag!