Ph***ing Soulmates!
This A-Rod/Madonner situation is so weird. A while back it seemed that Madonner and that handsome wife of hers, Guy Ritchie were fumbling towards a certain ecstasy that is also known as divorce. Seriously. Guy wants out. I can see it in his sad, beady eyes. It’s all sad for the kids, of course.
Then Madonner and Guy started going out on fake ass dates in New York that involved tons of fake hand-holding to silence the rumors or something. Don’t they know that rumors (especially of they’re ephing true) can’t be silenced?
Then came the A-Rod situation. He’s some baseball player. Real name Alex Rodriguez. Looks like an iguana. His wife, Cynthia, hires an olympic-sized team of divorce lawyers and alleges that he’s cheating on her with Madonner. One of them calls it “an affair of the heart”. Hee!
Madonner is pissed about this. Duh. Says a source: Madonna is outraged. She told his wife Cynthia’s lawyers not to make any more statements about her – in short, shut up.”
There’s more! The Iguana’s friend is blabbing to Us Weekly magazine that whilst out on the town with him one night, the Iguana was texting someone like crazy! Says the (soon to be beat to a bloody pulp) friend: “He kept smiling, acting as if he was a little kid. He told me it was Madonna he was texting. I was shocked. He proceeded to say he was in love with her. I thought he was kidding but he wasn’t.”
Later the iguana told this same ‘friend’ that Madonner was his “f***ing soulmate.”
Yeah, we know.
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