Laters, Sarah!
Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman have spliteth the phucketh up. Good! She never deserved him, anyway with her annoying, mischievous, donkey ass. No one knew this, but I’d been waiting for this news for almost five damn years. That’s quite a long time to nurse love vibes for some puffy comedian dude who always looks tired. I’m not kidding. I used to have a crush on Jimmy Kimmel for shizzles! He has a nice vibe, he’s smart, and there’s something pleasant about his face. He’s kind of scary and initimidating though, because when I saw him at LAX three years ago (The International airport, not the dumb ass club in Vegas), I didn’t even try to jump his bones or anything for fear of rejection. I didn’t even say “hi” and that’s saying a lot because I’ve accosted hotter and seemingly scarier semi-famous menfolk.
The only quote concerning this break-up actually isn’t a quote at all: It’s Jimmy’s mouthpiece telling the world that Jimmy has nothing to tell the world about his break up with Sarah. Boo!
BTW, is July the designated month for famous slags to split unions? Who’s next? It’d best be Whorelando Bloom and that dingo slapper of his. Best be!
Getting Over The Hurt
Once again, pics of another famous whore monster living it up in the sun! Sorries. Katers Moss just broke the eph up with her boyfriend and so her rich ass BFF Davinia Taylor, sailed away with her to Sardinia Italy on a big phat yacht to heal her broken heart strings. Kate looks alternately pissed and and retarded in these photos. The same goes for her nips, yo!
P.S. She needs smaller shorts.
aahdfghjjkj!!
Lenny Kravitz’ hotness was papped in Florence, Italy, and for some reason the pics are making me laugh badly. They are also making me violently upset, though! Why does his ass get to be in Italy? I want to go to Italy! All these famous whores are getting there travel jollies on this month and my arse is stuck in the bad part of California. Eph this! Okay, to be fair he’s in Florence for a gig.
P.S. What the hell is he wearing?
P.P.S. That glass of wine looks delicious.
Shag Or Gag?
Greetings, slutcakes! Ugg suggested a shag or gag? on Fernando Torres. God Bless Ugg! It was fun googling FT! He’s kind of fug if you look too close, but a glass of wine and a glimpse of his checkbook should clear up any issues regarding his shag factor. Fernando plays Football for Liverpool, England. I would totes shag his ass because he’s making me nostalgic for Footballers Wives. What say you? Shag it or gag it.
My, That’s A Pretty Dress!
… pretty ephing terrible! Jessica Simpsonwore this vermilion gladiator whore atrocity in Lake TaHOe whilst attending a concert with her boyfriend, Tony Homo.
Apologies in advance if this post is the first thing you see when you visit this blog for the next few days. My life is in ruins and I don’t know where the lovely Tiffers and Janers are. 
Cura ut Valeas
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