What fugly mainstream planet is this from?

The usually adorable Rachel Bilson looks like she just stepped out of the 80’s in this oversized mess. No one needs to be reminded of shoulder pads.

Sorry about this bland post – not much is going on in gossip land.

Who The Eph Kerrs?

Approximately ten seconds after In Touch Weekly announced the probable split of Mirandiingo Kerr and my boyfriend, Orlando Bloom,  Miranda’s mothuh and brothuh issued a statement to some Australian whores saying that they were “frustrated and upset” to find break-up rumors splashed across the whole wide world.  To the best of my recollection, this rumor started pretty late in the evening last night, so these tools must be googling their dingo darling around the clock. 

Mirandingo’s lil bro says that his dumb ass sister never snogged the Brandon Davis at a New York nightclub.  He knows this because he was glued to her side the whole entire evening.  Bytch please!  You know your ass slipped off to pee at least twice, and those were the times the dingo and the greasy walrus joined lips. 

Mirandingo’s mum says that she’s protective of her dingo baby and that she is all sorts of disappointed in the “false report”.  Says Dingo Mum:  “I realise there is an interest in people who are in the spotlight, but I just can’t believe how far from the truth it gets.  Miranda and Orlando have never been closer and are happier right now more so than ever.  He’s meeting her in Paris next week.”

Yeah, he’s meeting her in Paris next week to punch her in the mouth for all the stupid shit that’s come out of it the past few months! 

This is the best break-up denial ever, by the way.  I say this because it’s soo embarrassingly lame ass.  Seriously?  I’ve never heard of someone’s mother coming to their defense over a damn break-up story.  It’s like her life depends on this fake reIationship.  Also, I thought Mirandingo loved to talk to the press!  Why isn’t she saying anything (coyly of course, because that’s the only way she knows how to talk to The Press.  Or at all!  She probably orders her dingo food in the restaurant ‘coyly’ and then smiles up at the waiter with those seductive animal eyeballs of hers.   

Why isn’t her publicist saying anything?  Why isn’t Orlando’s?  Orlando never says anything.  Why don’t you EVER speak, Orlando?  Dingo got your tongue?

Sorcery via Jaded

Unnecessary Update Of Kiki’s Love Life

  

Kirsten Dunst is possibly doing shag time with Drew Barrymore’s ex, Justin Long.   No one will care, but I had to post some shiz because this blog is in dire need of fresh posts.  A loquacious whore told OK! Magazine that:  “Justin was holding Kirsten’s hand while walking around downtown NYC in the Soho area. They stayed out all night and Kirsten was all over him and kept leaning in to kiss him.”

A pal of Justin’s says that Kiki and Justin are just friends and have been for many many years and that she’s simply alleviating the bitter and sorrowful pain of his break-up.  Yeah, through shagging him nightly!  A pal of Kiki’s says that Kiki’s “always had a bit of a crush on Justin”. 

If they’re dating, they’re dating.  If they’re not, they’re not. 

Sorcery

Bad Brains

 

Kate Moss speaks!   My favorite rexy slag of all time sat down with Vogue Magazine for a fascinating, albeit re-re article about her life as a model, a mum, and an all-around gorgeous retard.  She says that modeling rots peoples’ brain cells (hello, Miranda Kerr!), that she’s immature, and that she cares about money only a little bit.

Sayeth Katers:  “Modelling can be a bit brain damaging. Starting my own brand was what I needed to do. I only model if there are such good jobs that you don’t want to say no to. . . .”   The ‘brand’ she is referring to is her Top Shop line.  Her involvment with it counteracts the brain damage or something.

Being immature:  “I am still acting like a seventeen-year-old. I definitely haven’t become middle-aged. I’ve got a house and a daughter and all that, but I still like to have fun. Even in my business we still have fun.”  Like whatever.

Being a mum:  “I’m a mother. All the time. Every day. I put my daughter to bed.”  Yeah, with sleeping pills!

Money:  “I like making money. But I don’t call people up every day to see how much I’ve made. As long as I have what I need at the time. I mean, I can buy the house that I want.”  Basically, as long as she can support her coke habit and keep a roof over her head, she’s happy.

Kate Moss FTW!!!

Sorcery