… and I bet she spent it all on uppers. Better living through chemistry, non? Hee. Just kidding. I tease Keira Knightley, her beautiful and perpetual frown, and the dark cloud she walks under morning, noon and night. I’m the same way, really. I walk around looking like I escaped from a halfway house. Stormy-faced bytches rule!
Here’s the actual list.
Top 10 actresses
1. Cameron Diaz – $50 million (£25 million). Phuckin’ why, though? What the hell did she act in? And who wants to see her act, anyway? Nobody!
2. Keira Knightley – $32 million (£16 million). Bytch deserves it. She’s beautiful and she has a giant head.
3. Jennifer Aniston – $27 million (£13.5 million). Phuckin’ why, though? What the hell did she act in? And who wants to see her act, anyway? Nobody! Not even John Mayer.
4. Reese Witherspoon – $25 million (£12.5 million). Bytch deserves it. Plus she has a family to support and an ex-husband and his slapper girlfriend to support, too.
5. Gwyneth Paltrow – $25 million (£12.5 million). Phuckin’ why, though? She’s phugly!
6. Jodie Foster – $23 million (£11.5million). Bytch deserves it.
7. Sarah Jessica Parker – $18 million (£9 million). Bytch deserves it because she has to put up with people saying she’s fug.
8. Meryl Streep – $16 million (£8 million). Mama Mia.
9. Amy Adams – $14.5 million (£7.25 million). Phuckin’ who?!
10. Angelina Jolie – $14 million (£7 million). Phuckin’ why, though? Bytch can’t act!
July 25, 2008 at 12:31 AM
Whilst I like some of the girls on this list, I find the amount of money they got paid to be obscene. By the same token, I wouldn’t say no if someone offered me $14 million to star in a film.
Cameron Diaz starred in that shitty What Happened in Vegas, but apparently got most of her monies from the Shrek franchise.
And what the hell was Jennifer Aniston in?
July 25, 2008 at 12:53 AM
Jennifer Aniston acts in a sh*tload of films that no one sees (she still gets her paychecks no matter what happens at the box office).
Angeline Jolie is the best actress on that list (aside from Meryl Streep and Jodie Foster)
Gywneth doesn’t deserve millions coz she’s fugly but SJP does because people call her fugly? your logic baffles me.
July 25, 2008 at 12:56 AM
Janers, I thought you knew by now that my shit makes no damn sense ever.
July 25, 2008 at 1:10 AM
Yeah I just felt like having an AC moment.
July 25, 2008 at 3:52 AM
When did Angelina Jolie manage to be in any films at all? I thought she was busy charging about with a flock of multicoloured kids all the time and being permanently pregnant. She pisses me off a lot…
July 25, 2008 at 4:24 AM
She did wanted.
a humanitarian who takes in orphaned children pisses you off?!!!!!!
What is up with u typhos acting all crazy tonight?
July 25, 2008 at 4:44 AM
She did Changeling too, but it doesn’t change the fact that she’s effing irritating. To me the last straw was her talking about how her sex live is better with Brad since she got pregnant, because they get more creative. And this phucking made the headlines on BBC news! WTF? I don’t wanna know this shiz! She should learn to say no comment and stop waving and smiling at the paps OR stfu about her privacy being invaded. Seriously!
July 25, 2008 at 6:21 AM
I want Angie to adopt me!
July 25, 2008 at 7:49 AM
An AC moment?
Would that be when you bring logic and reasoning to a place where neither is welcomed?
July 25, 2008 at 4:25 PM
Janers, I think you’re confusing Allers and Aliers! I happen to like Angelina’s multi-coloured flock of kids. They are the cuteness.
AC: That hurts! Have I not welcomed you with open arms? Sometimey slag, that is what you iz!
July 25, 2008 at 6:09 PM
I did! I’m must have been blind at the moment. Aliers is still the sweetie she always was.
Yep AC – it’s when u bring reason and logic in order to disagree and piss someone off. I’m in shitty mood.