Hobby Horse Reunion
Hobby Horse Knightley and Hobby Horse Miller were reunited the other night at the British Independent Film Awards. Keirers is a beautiful horse girl. Sienners not so much. She has the weirdest phug expression on her fug phace, as if she just sampled some strange oui oui backstage. Sorries.
There was much chatter talk about Keirers’ dress on ONTD. I happen to like it a whole lot. Ew, I’m turning into a Keirers fan.
Bozzers Again
Bozzers is on the January 2009 cover of Marie Claire UK. That’s sweet that Mirandingo isn’t. Ha. So here’s some pics from the shoot (even though they are weird and don’t make any sense) and also some pictures of Bozzers emerging from a grocery storein L.A. on Thanksgiving Day.
Gobble Gobble.
Dingo Tales: The Love Potion
Chapter 1
One very cold morning in Venice, our dingo heroine awoke very early and stealthily crept out of her hotel room. She had business to attend to. Business that involved conveying the image to the world that her fake boyfriend actually loved her (he doesn’t. I mean he can’t possibly because she’s frightfully wetodded. And don’t even get me started about the girth of her pumpkin head).
After ambling about for ten minutes or so, she arrived at a tiny building. It was the home of Elena Lucrezia Cornaro Piscopia, who was (according to the wood-carved panel hammered to the door) schooled in the “black arts, magic, and phuckeria.”
The dingo knocked. Nothing happened.
The dingo knocked again. This time the dingo got the result that she wanted. The door was opened by a small old woman with wide-set fishy eyes and a broken nose.
“Omeyegawd, u lerk jusct lyke mee,” the dingo exclaimed.
The old woman’s expression told the dingo that this bit of news was horrifying. In no way did she want to resemble the form of bones, skin, and cabbage that stood before her. “What do you want? Who are you?” Elena Lucrezia snapped.
The dingo sighed. “Eye im Miranduh Kurr. Eye im famuss, en cayce u didunt gno.”
a magical unicorn and king neptune face off!
anderson cooper and michael phelps in a swim off. i can now die a happy slag having seen andy in his swim trunks. the whole interview is on 60 minutes tonight (starts in 20 minutes for east coast chicas!)
Do Not Want
So I came home this evening and switched on CNN like I always do, hoping to catch a glimpse of Paul Begala or Barack Obama or something, and boy, was I sorry I did that. I should have gone straight to bed had my annual Thanksgiving Eve’s nightmare about Turkeys.
Poor Mumbai.
India’s biggest city was racked with terrorist attacks. As far as I know, there are still some uncertain hostage situations taking place. At this point, casualties are listed at about 300 (200 injured, perhaps 101 dead). Which is disgusting. Apparently, the gunmen were targeting people with U.S. and British Passports and they also targeted the headquarters of a Jewish Outreach group.
So predictable. So Medieval. So sick of this shit.
Anyway, God Bless the wounded and dead and God Bless their families and God Bless the world (even if God doesn’t exist because I know some of you are Atheists).
Oh, and HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!! LUV U ALL!
Anners
Is Bonegelina Preggers? Again?!
Who the EPH cares, really? In Touch Magazine sayeth that Bonegelina is three months bepregged with her seventh child. That’s nice. Maybe it’s true, maybe it isn’t. I just wanted to type ‘Bonegelina’ and this was my excuse.
Kate Is Disappointing Me
If it’s not the stupid hair (please go back to brown or somehting, Katers), or the scarf-monster boyfriend, it’s the dumb clothes. She’s been looking wack and I will not be tolerating this shiz much longer.
I think I’m kidding.
Anyhoo, the DailyMail is saying that Katers and Scarf Monster maybe had a physical fight or something because they both had scratches and bruises on they faces. Yeah, I said ‘they’! Bad grammar rules supreme always! They either had a fight or ran into a dingo.
The Merchant(s) of Venice: A StoryBook Fauxmance
Dramatis Personae:
Whorelando Bloom, a near-retired, once-beautiphul bad actor. He is 31, wearing ill-fitting and awesomely unflattering pants, and painfully unhappy to be in the arms of his dingophriend.
Mirandingo Kerr: an oddly half-successful VS model with dingo DNA. She is 25, has a oddly-shaped head, a small brain, and the need to call the paps everytime Whorelando has been tricked into venturing out in public with her. What she lacks in brains, she makes up for fame-whoring gumption.
INTRODUCTION:
Whorelando and Mirandingo have been fighting the past few days. When he failed to show up to her VS show in Miami and instead popped up in Moscow (!), and she found out about it, he knew he was in for a world of trouble. So he suggested they meet up in Venice, thinking that perhaps, in the most romantic city in the world, Mirandingo would refrain from beating him to a blood pulp (again).
So they met up at a hotel in Venice (on her dime, of course). There was LOTS of yelling (on her part), lots of begging (on her part — she wanted sess, he so did not!), and lots of feelings that stayed buried (he wants to break up with her, but she simply won’t allow it).
Here is what transpired the morning after:
Start Getting Excited
Britney’s music sucked back in the day and I’m going to have to operate on the assumption that Britney’s music will always suck. The genre, I mean. So I cannot herald the arrival of her latest stab at audio syntax with anything but a giant, monolithic eyeroll. Sorries. It’s good that she seems to be getting her schit back togeths, though.
P.S. Rollingstone is sooo past its heyday.
P.P.S. Why is she wearing Jennifer AnusChin’s clothing?
ed westwick, phashion guru
somewhere in the hills, the PRs-that-be have decided that Cosmo skanks want ed westwick too. in the latest issue, Cosmo put some crap outphits on an alessandra ambrosio wannabe and had ed comment on them. he’s a good lil stylist, he is. remember to wear a grey tank if u want a man to listen when u talk, skanks!
OMG
ok, so i just saw twilight and i didn’t hate it! however, i have to say that new york audiences rule, so that’s probably what made the movie so fun. warning – spoilers ahead!
i am so owning up to this – although i can’t seem to stand her as a person, kristen stewart was great as bella. i really also liked the guy who played her dad. that stupid re-re that plays jacob annoys me even more. that phake ass phony hair is just wrong on so many levels.
when the cullens were making their first appearances everyone in the theatre was getting excited. when bobson FINALLY came on screen everyone starting screaming. it was so hilarious. i loved when bella and edward first started meeting because they played it a little differently that i had interpreted it from reading the book. but it was pretty fantastic – esp when edward was holding his nose and bella thought maybe she was stinky. i swear bobson was channeling rain man for a while at the beginning – it made for a lot of fun laughs.
the girls squealed again when carlisle came on (actually they swooned more than squealed) and they screamed when james was shirtless. good times. is there a strong carlisle contingent out there? i wasn’t aware!
bella’s confrontation of edward in the forest was so unbelievably re-re. the glitter head/chest moment was one of the most ridiculously weird moments of movie that i have ever watched. it seemed strained esp when he was basking in the sunlight and saying she was his heroin. my friend and i were laughing and the 15 year old girls got mad at us for it! but other peeps were laughing, too, so whatevs.
a lot of stuff didn’t really match up to what i had imagined in my head so it was a little weird to watch. but it wasn’t distracting or anything. jackson had a deer in the headlights face almost every time he was on (except for baseball he was pure hotness!) he was described as always looking like he was in pain. if pain is supposed to translate to surprised then color me impressed! 
i didn’t really care for the end that much (the stuff after the baseball game) but i liked it when edward told jacob to back up off his gf. the end part with victoria was great, though, too. maybe if they make a sequel it will be better? i don’t think i’ll hold my breath but a girl can always dream! so i would say it was worth it because 2 hours and 2 minutes of bobson eye candy = serious business goodness. i still have a little drool left to wipe away!
did anyone else go? what did you think? deets por favor!
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