The DingHo Got Stood Up. Again.
The dingwHore is getting bold! She just started a blog at http://Eye-im-uh-nasstea-deengo-whorrre.com and I went to the trouble of reposting her first entry…
10+5 Novimburr 2000+ate
O-Cay! Sco eye stearted thisce blawg t2who lett oph sum steem. Eye im reeeelly pisced oph thatte WhorelandHo Blume isint kumming t2who scee mee wawlk downe thuh runweigh onn all phours @t thuh Viktorriuh’s Seacritt sho t2whodaye. Hee nevuh phucceeng shohsze uppe! Its lyke hee ducsznt lughve mee orr summtheeng!
Thatt thyme hee stukke hiczs peanisce intoo mee ovah uh yeer uhgo wuhz thuh phirst ande lasst thyme hee evuh sedd itt.
N.E. way, hee whuz sapoased t2who kumm scupport mee. Thee otha V. ESS Ainjails keepe larphing @tt meee. Thaghe arr alsco be+eeng rilly meen and scaying sturph lyke: “Moronduh*, iph yor phake boyphrinde duscznt showe uppe, wee rr go+eeng t2who wryte uh let+her too Viktorreeuh ande asque herr tooo phire yorr bonee, lopscided headidd arse.”
y arre peeepul sco krewl?
Sco yahh! Nowe eye halphve t2who wurree abowt getteeng phired phrom won uv thee lasct presteejious jawbzs eye’ve gawt!
And t2who tawp itte ophe, Mayphrayn poestid theez piktchures uv HYMN — meye pawrt-thyme lovah — inne phucceeng MozcHo!!! MozscHo!!! Y, Mayphrayn, Y?! Doant chew kgno thiss imbearaces meee???!!! Thosce Delphee bichiz arre larphing @tt meeee! I haight yuu sumthymes, Mayphrayn!! No cheque this thyme, gno gno gno!
Wheel Turner shall paye f4or thiss!!! Ph4or imbearaceeng mee sco publicklee. Jusst yuu wawtch end scee whut happinns.
* I stole this name from Afers.
An idea was never born in this head.
DingHo in a bikini, looking dumb
OMG, I nearly destroyed my laptop from laughing so hard, almost dropped it.
This is priceless. I’m really glad that he wasn’t a dumbass this week and stayed away from the dingo. Now the question is, will this last? Eh, probably not….
He looks good in these pics though, Dingo wish he looked like this when papped with him.
quietcharm87
November 16, 2008 at 12:55 AM
Moronduh, hunny, ur dewingh a phyne johb of publikklee imbaricceeng urselph. U doent knead annee helppe att orl.
Whorely, is that a new cardy, love? Or just one you’ve had packed in mothballs for a couple of years?
joders
November 16, 2008 at 12:56 AM
Hi Joderz! It looks like a new cardy to me.
Hi Quietcharm! It better last! Yeah, I know it won’t… The dingo wishes a lot of things that will never come true.
Anners Hussein Scribonia Caesar
November 16, 2008 at 1:00 AM
Morondah!!!!!
And doesn’t he look proud of himself for sneaking off the Russia where she can’t get her desperate dingo claws on his hott again booty.
Run, The Whorely, Run.
I’m in lurve with this sweater, and the fact that he’s wearing shoes with laces on them.
SadieJo
November 16, 2008 at 3:18 AM
I find it easier to read Joder’s dingoese – it must be because we have the same accent.
I thought Whorlando was an eco-nut, why is he advertising giant cars?
jane121
November 16, 2008 at 3:38 AM
Jane, because carbon pollution is still the lesser evil compared to ho pollution. It makes your brain evaporate, your body shrink and your phace melt.
jaded4good
November 16, 2008 at 3:48 AM
Walking down the runway on all fours. Bwaahaaaaahhhaah!!!!!!!!!
Thank you for this Anners, I needed it this morning.
Wanda Rizzuto
November 16, 2008 at 7:20 AM
If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?
If a dingho dates a pirate and he’s not around for the paps, does the dingho get pissed?
Akeelers a.k.a.glamma_puss
November 16, 2008 at 7:21 AM
Oh my, Anners. This must be your best post yet! Where do you get your inspiration? I really need to print all your posts for a scrapbook so I can always remember the Days of the Dingho and the Phake Boyphriend, It’s too much!
As I slowly scrolled down Orly’s pictures you posted, drooling, then suddenly came upon the disaster-in-curlers, I literally guffawed outloud! That was such a funny surprise. Brilliant! He’s jetsetting around the world and she’s stuck in some beautician’s chair for some dumb underwear show.
Anyway, he looks like he wasn’t ready for the cold or he would have brought a coat and not had to buy a new sweater and button it up to his chin.
Those pics with him BEHIND the young lady instead of running in front of her as he normally does is how he SHOULD treat his girlfriends, always putting them first. I think that looks sweet. When we see him like that, we’ll know it’s for real. In fact, maybe he should date that woman, they look really cute together. (Sorry, Anners, I’m sure he’d look very cute with you, too.)
Poor Orlando
November 16, 2008 at 8:14 AM
Hey Anners your boyfriend looks great, I see he skip the country to get away from the dingho panty model.
Ducati
November 16, 2008 at 8:29 AM
OMG that was sooooo funny Anners. I was waiting for a new post in Dingoese. I can’t wait till she leaves my city.
Mystic
November 16, 2008 at 9:15 AM
Thankies anners for another good one about the dingho. I think we are all happy that he didnt show up to the slutterfies show, anyways her outfits were cheap and not cute.
anywho11
November 16, 2008 at 2:42 PM
oh my god i just sprayed coffee all over my keyboard – that was hilarious!!!!!!
is our whorli looking hot again…. its funny how he manages that the minute he shakes off the dingho..
i’ll even overlook the seeming lack of explanation as to when he got quite so interested in landrovers…… i don’t care……
wow she must be pissed Mwaaahahahahahahaha
BTW slutterfies show LOL….. i wonder if any of the poisoned bras coincidentally did us a favour…..
slapparr
November 17, 2008 at 2:09 AM
Wonderphul! Thank you so much for the laughs-though I had to go get the monitor cleaner. Again.
Moronduh – classic.
Sighs4l
November 17, 2008 at 6:27 AM
Orlando looks great! Really super-fine from head2toe. Sooo happy and handsome. He never looks that happy in the company of that Curr underwear ho. He will go to World’s End to loose that ding-ho.
CHECK OUT TED CASABLANCA’S Awful Truth
Today 8:49 AM PST by Ted Casablanca
Dear Ted:
Please just shoot straight. Why all the hints about our favorite showmance lately? We’re not feeling the heat either, but are seeing the icy cold stiff look Orlando has when called in to make his appearances. Just spill it already, please. Will this joke be over by Xmas?
—BetTina, ChrisTina,and PaTina.
Dear Homance:
Too close to call. But yes, they’ll be over sometime.
Co
November 17, 2008 at 10:18 AM
Go Ted Casablanca’s!! W00t! Thanks, Co!
Janers I’m sorry! I just took a look at my dingoese and it is kinda hard to read. Joders is just super talented and her dingoese is flawless!
Akeelers: Ooh, philosophy. What is the sound of one dingo
cryingclapping?Mystic, the CPKdingo was in your city and you didn’t hurl the proverbial cabbage at her head? Shame Shame Shame.
Was WHorely at this cabbage bytch kids fashion show? I heard shiz that he was backstage. That BEST be false.
Thanks, ladies.
Anners, Breaker of Horses
November 17, 2008 at 5:52 PM
He wasn’t backstage as the Russia event happened around the same time, give or take. I had no way on going over to where it was but if I could have I maybe would have done something.
Mystic
November 17, 2008 at 6:40 PM
Yay!
Anners, Breaker of Horses
November 17, 2008 at 7:02 PM