More Top Shop Shiz
If you live in the New York City area, you are morally obligated to visit the grand opening of Top Shop on Thursday to tell Katers that she absolutely must part ways with Jamie Hince. He’s horrible in every way and he has to go. Tell her. And burn his scarves.
Here’s some pictures of Katers shilling her Top Shop clothings. she’s fabulous in every single way.
Not A Good Look
Usually Bozzers can do no wrong. But this is the sort of badly layered shiz that should only be expected from the crass Dingo of Gunnedah. Bozzers should know better than this.
Cornbread’s Fake-Fashion Empire Is Crumbling
Lauren Cornbread’s fake fashion line of insipid dresses has folded. It’s been shut the phuck down like a restaurant overrun with assorted vermin.
Cornbread isn’t aware of this, though, because her paid mouth-piece told some wretch at Us Weekly that “She is taking a hiatus, but the line still exists and will continue.”
Yeah. The line will continue in her frozen-smiled dreams! That smile of hers is way creepy. I bet she goes to bed with that scary wooden smile of hers.
Her rep also had the gall to say that, “Sales of her line in the first year doubled what was projected. However, in light of the economy, it’s a good time for Lauren to take a few seasons off to re-work her still budding line.”
If sales were that good, methinks there would be nothing to re-work. The rep is a GD liar.
Why is this phuckery even news in the first place? This story comes down from MSN, who used to be respectable news peoples. Bill Gates should be ashamed of himself.
Nice Pants
Fergie is actually making sense to me right now and I think I’m beginning to understand what Tad Hamilton sees in her. This is huge, because I’d rather eat an oleander bush than give props to Fergz (who I find to be one of the the most useless musicians on Planet Earth).
Here’s why Fergie deserves the Nobel Peace Prize: She has a new line of shoes (boo!), but, unlike many other celebrity-turned designer label hobags (like Gwen “A LAMB bag will cost you $600 dollars” Stefani, she’s not out to bankrupt her poor fans. A pair of shoes with Fergie’s dumb ass name written on them will cost you only about $50-100 bucks or something. Chump change.
Says Fergz: “I would feel really irresponsible right now to have a line that was completely out of my fans’ price range.” When she says “right now” I surmise that she is referring to our ugly and bitter recession. I hope that she would also feel really irresponsible to have a line of shoes completely out of her fans’ price ranges no matter what the economy looks like, though.
P.S. The brown hair is not working for her.
Hobby Horse News
This story is actually about Sienners Miller and not so much about Keirers Knightley, but I opted to post some pictures of Keirers (at Heathrow Airport) because they’re fairly recent photos and she has beautiful hair and so on.
Sienners has recently began speaking about why she values her relationship with Keira so much.
Sienna said this: “Sometimes it’s just nice to have somebody who’s in a similar situation and to talk to you about the things that, to other friends who have different jobs, where they’re in an office would find whiny and annoying.”
By “similar situation” she means that they are both walking, talking hobby horsies that make a jillion bucks a year just for galloping across the silver screen.
Sienners also says that, “Keira understands and I think, we keep ourselves afloat if things happen, the press that are hard to deal with, or the awful temptations to occasionally Google yourself and just be mortified at what people can write about you.”
So that Sienners is sometimes tempted to Google herself. I bet she does it once a week. If I’ve ever pop up whilst Sienners googles herself (that sounds soo nasty), I hope that she’ll understamd that I’m just fooling around when I make fun of her giant, but wondrously beautiful noggin, and that I only wish her the best of health and wealth.
Sienners also said that Keira is “ridiculously mature for her age” and says that she, herself, is “12 compared with her.”
Basically, shiz we’ve all known since 2003.
In a lame attempt to show the world that she is, at heart, just a big scientific nerd and not a ravenous whore, Sienners says that when she and Keirers lived together whilst shoothing The Edge of Love, they’d “play cards, do crosswords, that kind of thing.”
Sienners is telling mountains upon mountains of lies. Keira would maybe do crosswords, but Sienners would be perched infront of a webcam, showing her goodies to menfolk across the world.
Sorcery
Nothing Gold Can Stay
The blessed union of souls that was Uglyness Deyn and Albert Hammond Jr. has combusted. The two have split the phuck up and the engagement is off. This is so disappointing.
I will miss their outfits.
It’s About Ephing Time
Finally my wayward and dingo-tainted boyfriend has taken on the attributes of the cute little British man he was always meant to be. The last time he was this adorbz was in 2005 when he was promoting that wretched Kingdom of Heaven.
Here’s Whorelando with his freshly shorn cranium in L.A. The woman with the black hair is paid to make sure he remains famous or something, and the pretty blonde dude is there just to make people horny and stuff because Whorelando is no longer capable of such things.
I’m pretty sure they’re talking about the dingo and how she’s trampled her nasty ass all over what was left of Whorelando’s once-brilliant career and imploring him to release her back into the wilds of Gunnedah.
Three Cheers For Daners!
If you’ve been reading this blog at all regularly, you may have come across brilliant comments from a beautiful slag who goes by the name of Daners.
Well Daners just so happens to have written a fierce book and gotten it published! The books is called On The Run, and it’s about a sexy slag who swindles bytches for a living in the Old West.
Daners is a lovely writer (she writes under the nom de plume Billie Cooper) an even lovelier human being, thus, I urge you to support her talent by meanedering on over to her publisher’s site and ordering a copy of her book.
Go HERE to support a talented writer.
A Dispatch From The Dingo Crew
Rather than approve the following comment that was chillaxing in the moderationn file this afternoon and giving the dingo whoever wrote it free reign to post their inanity all over my blog, I thought I’d reprint it here verbatim. Everyone deseves to be heard.
Here’s the comment. [My responses are in hot, sexy brackets.]
The Dingo Went Shopping Yesterday? [Yeah, at the time I wrote this, she did!] Who wastes their time bashing someone they hate and especially about them shopping? [As opposed to bashing someone they 'love'? Fail. Who's bashing her for shopping, though? Why would I bash her dingo brains for shopping when there are so many other important things to bash her for?]
This site is beyond pathetic and idiotic [Cool; so is Miranda Kerr]. I hope Miranda Kerr finds this website and sues your a***s [ she has found this website. And so has her silly mother and her silly brother who looks like Nero (only worse)] but shes a better person [hahahahaha!] than a bunch of jealous tweens [Oh God. I'm in phucking Grad School, and sooo not a 'tween. I am pretty immature, though 
] who hate on people they don’t know [what the phuck are you doing by posting this comment, btw? Oh, and for the record, I don't hate Miranda! I just want her to stop lacerating my boyfriend's oui oui with her teefs and I want her to quietly return to her cubicle at the zoo].
Maybe one day you people can grow up, Highly doubt it. [Perhaps... ]
Here’s Miranda, on the night of her nasty dance in Whorelando’s lap at Teddy’s many moons ago. She was certainly dressed for it.
Well, duh
James Franco is being stalked by students at Columbia University. He’s taking classes there whilst he chips away at his MA degree, and he’s having issues with the student body. Bytch-faces keep following him around and waiting for his classes to end so that they can catch a glimpse of his hotness.
Says a source: “Now that girls have figured out his schedule, every week there’s a bigger crowd outside his lectures waiting just to see him leave. It’s getting to be that there are so many people, it’s embarrassing.”
The same thing happens to hot professors, by the way, so James should learn to take this sort of phuckery in stride. Seriously, one quarter I had the hottest professor in the history of the world and there would be a long line of academic bytches wearing mini-skirts outside his office door waiting for a little one-on-one time with wonderfulness.
Back to James: Supposedly extra security will be hired to protect him from his admirers. I hope James is paying for this out of his own pockets, though, because I’d be pissed if my tuition fees were being spent on protecting some famous dude from being stalked by lusty eyeballs.
Yawn
Can someone please explain the point of Kim Kardashian’s existence? There ought to be law that says you can’t appear in a magazine or be stalked by the paparazzi unless you possess some sort of talent, because I fully believe that being stalked by the paparazzi is a privilege. Ha.
By the way, ephing Brandy’s nasty-ass little brother on camera and sharing your junk with Playboy is not a GD talent. Shiz!
Here’s Kim and her boyfriend, Reggie Bush, in some ugly and stupid photos for GQ magazine. GQ stands for Get FuQued!
P.S. What a lazy, dependent piece of shiz that Kim Karashian is; she can’t even do her own push-ups and makes her man do them for her.
Meh
Whoooooorelando Bloom. God, I miss typing that name.
Here’s my STD-addled ex-boyfriend and his sister, Samantha, at some Art Function the other night. I think it was called “Mythologies” and also called something else that’s not important enough to remember.
The dingo wasn’t allowed in the building, thus there are no pictures of her mangy ass (thank God!). I think she was tied to a bike-rack outside with all the other four-legged scoundrels.
A few words about Samantha Bloom. I ventured over to some other blog that posted these pictures and I was sort of surprised to hear some slag-faces say things like: “Oh, looks like Orlando got all the looks in the family.” Please. Samantha is cute stuffs. Perhaps she’s not sporting the best hair-do in the history of the world, but she’s super cute stuffs and bytches need to shut their heads up about her.
A few words to Whorelando Bloom: I am still not really on speaking terms with you or anything, but I will say that you need to shave that dingo fur off your chin.
Oh, and the only thing that is rescuing you from being a total TOOL in my book, is the fact that you seem like you’re a good brother to your sister, Sam.
* Whilst I was searching for Samantha pics, I found some old ass post about “the stars and their siblings“. Interesting stuff.
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