Hobby Horse No.1 Is Ascairt Of Guns
Sienners Miller was so “terrified” of putting a gun in her hobby horse fingers on the set of G.I. Hoe that she got pulled aside and told that she wasn’t doing her job right. She’s supposed to be a big bad scary person and she looked mighty frightened with the gun in her grasp.
Sayeth Sienners:
“It was scary. I got taken away from the group! They said, ‘Sienna, you’re a villain in this film and you look like you’re terrified of the gun.’ And I said ‘I am!’ But we were shooting live ammunition that could kill someone. It’s a powerful piece of machinery, and it takes a lot of strength to pull that thing back. I was trying to do it with two hands because I wasn’t strong by that point. But then I got my MP3 rifle and you put it on automatic and it gets 14 rounds out per second!”
All Sienners really had to do to conquer her fear of the gun was pretend it was some married dude’s oui oui. She’s a pro at handling them things.
Another Myth of California Has Been Debunked
I don’t know why people think that California is this blissful land mass where everybody uses the brains and souls they’ve been given for good things, because it’s simply not true. For the second time in less than a year, the state has decided to deny a certain segment of the population the right to get married. Boo.
Some Hollywood Folk came out the other day to voice their disapproval. My favorite was Drew Barrymore, because she applied some very beautiful eyeshadow under her eyeballs. Here’s what Drew said: “I am who I am because of the people who influenced me growing up, and many of them were gay. No one has any right to tell anyone what makes a family. . . You choose your battles in this world. . . this is something that means everything to me.”
Before state’s were banning gay marriages, they were banning interracial marriages; it’s all the same thing.
Kate Moss Is Planning To Write A Novel
So are five millon other sad and desperate souls in the world, though, so why is this NEWS? I love Kate Moss and her rexy bones with all my heart, but if she makes good on her threat to write not only a novel, but also ”the world’s first cookbook from a supermodel!,” I’m going to have to break her teethers with an ink cartridge.
Someone told The Sun (A trashy newspaper, not the actual ’sun’) that, “Kate has been considering how she will occupy her time when the modelling work dries up. Writing a novel is something she has considered before. With the help of a ghost writer. . . she is convinced she could come up with a commercially successful product that could be a great money-spinner.”
Real writers bleed through their brains and their fingers and they don’t pal around with ghosts. They also don’t write expecting to come out of the experience with a brand new nest egg for future crack-purchasing.
Happy Belated Birthday, Dearest Joders…
Joders had a birthday last weekend on May 23rd. Hopefully she’ll forgive me for being a ‘tard (literally)….
DAMN IT! I EPHING HATE THIS BLOODY HISTORY CLASS!!!!
I have an ephing final tomorrow for this ephing class that I ephing hate and I can’t even force myself to ephing study because I ephing hate it so much and I don’t want to go over any GD ID’s anymore or prepare any ephing essay questions.
G awd.
Distraught DingHo
Aw, MirandingHo looks sort of cute all sullen and depressed-like. She should be this way all the time.
In a perfect world, this article would actually be titled At World’s End: The Whorelando and Dingo Show Has Run It’s Course, and every word would be the Lord’s honest truth.
Alas, it’s not a perfect world and the dingo is probably still grinding her dingo bits against Whorelando’s human body. Yeah, the article is basically some tabloid hash that says that Mirandingo is tired of being treated like the wild animal she actually is by her depressed boyfriend, Whorelando Bloom. There’s even a special little box that details the silly fight they had a few days ago in New York. The fight supposedly started when they were eating (yeah, right) at some restaurant and the dingo told Whorelando: “Eye really wawnt four us 2 go back 2 meye tinee apawrtmint and mayke luv tewnite. Itz bin sew lawng.”
And Whorelando said: “Dream on bytch. I’m going to a strip club and there’s nothing you can do about it. Go home and cry your cabbage patch ass to sleep.”
Here’s the article. I’m just posting it for posterity.
Googly-Eyed Bytch
I always knew that Holena Cougar Mellencamp googled herself after her quotidian breakast of cheese, cheese, and more cheese. Jossie just linked me up an article in which Helena admitted as much. I quote: ”You end up in this evil maze, this dark place,” she says of Googling herself. “These are strangers writing about me and I tell myself that it’s to do with being bitter, being jealous, being bored. But I’m still flabbergasted at the depths of nastiness in the way bloggers express themselves. . . .”
ahahahahhahaaaa.
Okay, whatever. I don’t even hate on Holena anymore. It had nothing to do with me being jealous, bored, or bitter either. I was just jovially pissed that she was shagging Cola Gorda nee Paul Banks. I don’t even want his stuff anymore, so it’s all good. Plus, Holena is tight with Bozzers.
Do you hear that Holena? After this post I’ll post only nice things about you when I get especially bored and bitter. By the way, do you have any clout with Victoria’s Secret? Can you get them to fire Miranda Kerr? She’s such a joke – an insult to beautiful supermodels such as yourself. I’m not even sassing.
Thanks Jossie!
Hey, Miranda…
How about you and your brain dead dingophiles stop leaving deranged messages and such on my blog? I know that Whorelando yelled at you very publicly the other day and all, and I understand you’re all sorts of upset about that, but please don’t take it out on me.
Keep sucking cabbytch,
Anners, who has tall poppy syndrome
Keira Knightley and The Rup
Keirers and her Pervert Friend are a cute little unit. I have nothing to report here, not even some pulled out of context quote from Female First. I just felt it prudent to comment on this little evening spent at a tapas bar in London: this shiz looks scrumptious. I wish I was a beautiful hobby horse at a tapas bar in London with a beautiful bottle of wine placed before me. I really do and I don’t know why.
I still don’t understand Pervert’s face, btw. Is he supposed to be a handsome bloke? He’s sort of fun to look at in films and all that, but in pap shots it always looks some of his face is missing.
It’s weird.
Hi.
I wasn’t goint to post this, but it’s been bothering me all day. Why the hell is Vanity Fair’s cover gurrl singing at mother-ephing Sea World? That’s not right. Expect Vanity Fair to fold in the next six months, because this can only be the harbinger of many more bad things to come.
P.S. What the phuck is she doing and wearing in this picture?
Quo Vadis, Jamers?
The Scarf Monster (aka Jamie Hince aka Kate Moss’ soon-to-be ex-boyfriend) went missing for a day or two this past week. Actually, the way I first read this story was that Jamers had gone missing after some dang concert with his band The Kills and was still out there somewhere wandering like a sad spirit.
A panic gripped me when I heard this news. What if he had met with foul play? I would have felt so awful for making fun of his scarf habit and his cramped oui oui station.
I think he’s since been found.
I also think that I care about this more than Kate Moss does. She’s been avoiding his ass for days and she probably didn’t even know he was missing. I think they’re on the verge of a break-up because that’s what I’ve been told by tons of totally reliable gossip sites.
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