What’s Wrong With This Picture?

A whole ephing lot!  Scarf Monster ain’t wearing no scarf and he also did something new and more repulsive than usual to his hairs.  

I don’t like him.

Either does Katers, though, so it’s all good!   She got mad at him in Ibiza and threw his man-purse into the water.   He was all mad because inside of that  man-purse contained his cell phone, personal diary and a laptop that had six brand-new crummy Kills songs on it.   That shiz must have killed his spirit.   A source who had the good-fortune to witness all of this had this to say:    

“Jamie was speechless.  He waded into the water to take the bag out, and tried to save the laptop – removing the hard drive and putting it into an airing cupboard.

Alas, Scarfmonster’s attempts to save the life of his laptop failed.  His relationship with Katers, however, is still alive despite the fact that he’s an awful human being.

Boo.  

Sorcery

 

Fox News

Due to the fact that she is an international super star,  Megs Fox says that her friends refuse to go out in public with her lest they be papped and end up in the disease-riddled pages of Us Weekly.   I’m sure their avoidance of Megs has nothing whatsoever to do with the fact that she’s playing houses with BAG aka Brian Austin Green. 

Says Megs:   “They know that they’ll see themselves in the tabloids if they’re out with me!”   

Sure.

Megs also says that she is a homebody and that is is possible for a human being to be  intelligent, sexy, and normal all at the same time.  I was hoping that something like this could be true!      Megs is also the  “type of person who would rather curl up on BAG’s oui oui the couch” than hit the rehab circuit with all the other Hollywood trash.  Which is totally admirable, of course. 

Here’s a picture of Megs with her smart face on a while ago.   She and BAG are a hot couple. 

Sorcery

Thandie Is Going To Be A Teacher

Thandie Newton is such a perfect and lovely little thespian!   She’s going to South Africa to teach acting to the impoverished girls at Oprah Winfrey’s Leadership Academy.    Sayeth Thandie:  “I am really looking forward to it as it’s such a great scheme and it’s nice to give something back.”   Thandie’s cool like that.  She’s also far too beautiful to exist on this tragically flawed planet of ours, but whatevers.    

Thandie has also sort of been taking a break from acting to try her hand at screenwriting.  She’s writing a comedy… which is all sorts of odd, really. 

And so ends this post.

Sorcery

http://www.femalefirst.co.uk/entertainment/Thandie+Newton-68065.html

It’s Daners’ Birthday!!

Everybody wish the beautiful Daners aka ‘Me’ a Happy Birthday!     

(In case she can actually get to a computer today, I did her up a birthday post…)

 

Shag or Gag?!

Whorelando Bloom is looking better.    Shag it or gag it?!   I’m going to have to decline, though.  Just because.

By the way, his breastesses are bigger than the dingo’s.   Maybe Victoria’s Secret should’ve hired him instead? 

 

Bozzers… Again

I think they are looking at a photo of  Whorelando Bloom ho-strutting on the beach in Australis…

 

A Free Hobby Horse In Paris

Sienners Miller was in Paris a few days ago doing some stuff.  Perhaps she’s still there doing some stuff?  Who ephing cares either way ?

She and her phriends need to mix it up a bit, though.  Blonde hairs + black clothes =   Blah phuckity blah blah blah.

I just posted this for the title.

 

Mossers Looks Cool Again

 

Kate Moss looks like a woman who just dumped her lame scarf-toting, oui oui-strangling, and strange boyphriend and needs to celebrate.   I’m not saying this because of any actual reports of a break-up or anything, though.   Call it a hunch — there’s got to be some holy explanation for the new jaunt in her step.     

Here’s Katers leaving a meeting with the rich man who bankrolls her Top Shop line and gives her something to do besides going on vacations every two weeks, being mun of the year, and nursing herself to sleep at night by singing Babyshambles songs whilst cradling a bottle of Stoli Tonic.  

Kidding!  

 

I’ll Take That Back, Now

Ms. Californication and her gleaming block of teethers lost their crown the other day.   Ms. Californication keeps saying that she got phired because of her beliefs.  She believes that  gay folk should not be allowed to get married, but that Christians should be allowed to take Ho pictures and get their ta-ta’s plumped with man-made materials if they decide to pursue a modeling career.  

I’m pretty sure that God disagrees with her, though.

Pageant officials say she’s full of shiz and that her being fired has nothing at all to do with her beliefs.   Sayeth them pageant folk:   “This was a decision based solely on contract violations including Ms Prejean’s unwillingness to make appearances on behalf of the Miss California USA organisation.”

Guess what? When you fail to show up to work, your phake ass gets fired.   Booyah. 

Sorcery

What Petey Did

Um… he got arrested again.   For the billionth time.   Not just for drug possession, though!   This time he did something extra special and endangered the lives of billions of residents of Gloucester. 

After a splendid solo show in Gloucester the other night, Dirty got behind the wheel and engaged in some drunk driving.   Usually I support Pete DirtyHo in all of his junkie-shenanigans, but I can’t stand proud with him on this one even though he is super beautiful and everything because driving drunk is the lamest thing one can do in the world .  

The police in Gloucester confirmed that “a 30-year-old man was arrested on suspicion of drink driving, possession of drugs and failure to stop for police”.   Those sloppy policemen forgot to add that he was sexy as phuck and that The Libertines are going to get back together real soon.    Holler!

Source of this Phuckery

Shock! Shock! Horror! Horror!

Does anyone know what the hell happened to the photo galleries at Katebosworthonline.com?    I tried to get up in there to get better pictures and that mother-epher was gone.  NO!   Dear God, no!   Bring it back, lovely woman who runs the bozzers site!    Going there and getting a “File Not Found” message was a most unwelcome shock.

By the way, while the dingo was in Australia shoving her stinky and bloody paws in clearance bins, Kate Bozzers was being wined and dined by fancy bytch-faces in London.   Looking  STUNNING, by the way.  

UPDATE:  OOOPS.   I freaked-ed out over nothings.   The gallery is back up, whorebabies.    :)

 

A Dingo In The Throes Of Passion

If you ever wondered whether or not a wild animal was capable of experiencing sessual pleasure, here you go.   The dingo loves attention.  And a whole flock of wetodds gave it to her when they showed up at her latest cheap gig for David Jones, the department store in Australia which has been cursed with finding work for her awkward ass to do.   More than three whole people showed up when the dingo showed up to (dis)grace the “Half-Yearly Clearance Sale” (Mama Therese, Daddy Kerr, and The Emperor Nero aka Poostain aka lil bro’ Matty) and that fact sent the dingo’s pleasure receptors into overdrive.  

Or maybe more than three didn’t show up?!   The head bytch in charge at David Jones, a feller named Jason Mc Vicar told the whole wide world that, “Traditionally the half-yearly clearance in winter doesn’t have the same crowds as the Boxing Day sales. It’s darker and colder.”

Yeah?  So is the dingwhore’s heart, Jason.  So is the the dingwhore’s heart.  

Mr. McVicar went on to say some more shiz like this:  “I think every person’s situation is different but certainly people are definitely after value for money in these economic times.”

… which is why he hired a cheap stank dingo.

Sorcery