Bozzers Is Not Eph-ing Around!

This photo marks the third occasion that Kate Ann Bozzers has allowed paparazzi whores to document her existence in as many days!   That is something.   Bozzers is back with a vengeance.  Having been sequestered in Louisiana filming Straw Dogs for the past few weeks or so must’ve really ephed with her psyche:   She needs exposure.  

Here’s Bozzers and Cher Coulter (the stylist and BFF that she stole from Orlando Bloom — Orlando and Mirandingo must be distraught over this fact.  Both of them could really use the stylistically trained eye of Cher Coulter.  For real! –  several years ago.

Bozzers and Coulter are going shopping.   Because they have the time and money to shop unlike some ‘people’ aka ‘me’.   They also have interesting objects on their feetz.   Cher looks awful (as always).  I don’t understand these stylist-people.   They always keep their hair the same no matter what they’re wearing.   Rachel Zoe is guilty of this shit too.  Yeah.  The hair is always the same and the make-up is never right.     

 

Shag or Gag?! Alexander Skarsgaard Edition

I think Tiffers may have already mentioned this dude.   He plays a vampire on TV (True Blood — a series I have never even seen) and his name is either Alexander Skarsgaard, Alexander Skarsgard, or Alexander Sarsgard depending on your Search Engine Querying.  

No one knows how to spell this dude’s name!

Depending on the hour or the position that his blond head is tilted in a photograph he’s either stunning or hideous to me.

He’s certainly hotter than the thing featured on the right in the above photograph.

Shag or Gag?

 

Something’s Not Quite Right Here

Lindsay Lohan, there are no words for what you have done to yourself.   Oh, actually there are:    Drugs.   Sleep deprivation.  Bad parents.   Drugs.  Scurvy.

It’s all very sad.   

I found this picture about a week ago on some blog and it’s been gathering dust on my hard drive.   I post it now, simply because it’s time to delete it, I think.   My computer has been acting funny ever since I saved it.

Philm Review: My Life In Ruins

No.  Despite the title, this is not the story of Orlando Bloom. 

Okay, so despite universal bad reviews, I watched this thing because My Big Phat Greek Wedding is one of my favorite philms of all time (sad but true), and therefore, I feel as though I have to support Nia Vardolos and her misguided philhellenism.

It bothers me, to this day, that in MBFGW, she said that her parents’ house was modeled after the the parthenon, “complete with ’corinthian’ columns”.    Pardon me, but the Parthenon most certainly does not have phucking corinthian columns.  How the hell does a Doric temple have corinthian columns? 

Back to the film.   I’m not gonna lie.   It was really, really stupid!   It was also sort of cute (complete with a few actually phunny moments), and I will probably watch it again before the year is out because I do stuff like that.

Watch it for the scenery.

Bozzers

It’s Kate Ann Bozzers at The Scream Awards.  What the phuckity phuck phuck are “the Scream Awards”?   Where have I been that I had  no clue this altar to phuckery even existed?   Ah, who cares!

Here’s Bozzers and Alexander Skarsgaaaaaaaaaaaaard.  She presented him with an award for making her scream in bed or something.    That’s what the gossip-mill is saying.    Or maybe she’s still with Jamers Rousseau.

Tyra Banks Lost Some Lbs.

Tyra Banques has undergone a metamorphosis.    She has lost about 3o pounds and ceased appearing on the world’s stage with hair that wasn’t birthed from her own scalp.    Tyra’s says she feels free!    A few years ago when she gained the weight — that has since been immortalized in that photograph of her wearing a strange black swimsuit — Tyra said she wasn’t phat, but that the world could kiss her phat ass for calling her phat.   I never understood that!  

Tyra lost the weight by saying “no” to bacon bits and ice-cream.  I feel safe in taking the liberty of saying that she probably did a wee but more than that.   I’m mostly glad that she lost the weave weight, though, because for the most part, people look better all natural-like.

Bacon Bits and ice-cream sound really good.

Source

What Really Happened

Whorelando Bloom and Pet dingHo arrived at LAX a few days ago.   When they spotted paparazzi people, they split the phuck up.    Orlandwhore mumbled something about  “not wanting people waiting at his house” (presummably with cameras and shit) as an explanation for the temporary split.  

He and his pet dingHo were apart for 28 WHOLE minutes.  

The slagbrains at a certain messboard have spilled many tears over this fact.   “How sad that the evil paparazzi people forced this resplendant couple to separate for 28 whole minutes!”

In the spirit of being even more dramatic, let’s say that the dingHo was without its master and the whore was without its pet for 1,680 seconds. 

I just went through an entire box of kleenex.

Whorelando lied.

He and Pet DingHo did not split up to throw paparazzi people off their trail.   They love the paparazzi!   They wouldn’t even exist without the paparazzi.    Think about it:   If it wasn’t for the paparazzi for the past 2 or so years, would any of us even know that WhOrelando Bloom was even alive?   Me thinks not.   Besides, if Whorelando Bloom was really worried about his privacy, he wouldn’t be jamming his oui oui into the most fame-hungry Victoria’s Secret model.

So the real reason, then, why he and Pet DingHo split up:

 

Irony Alert!

Keira Knightley is going to perform in a real-life theatrical production  of’ The Misanthrope this December in London’s West End.  

They couldn’t have picked a better person than Keirers to star in a play that alludes to hatred for all mankind.  The only people Keirers likes are her parents and her boy — Rupert — friend.   I think.

 La Misanthrope told some whores who dared to approach her that she is “terrified but excited” about the whole entire situation. 

The director of the production – who previously exploited Daniel Radcliffe’s junk two years ago in Equus’ – said:   “I’m interested in working with her, to push her in a way that I don’t think she has been pushed before.”  

If the director really wants to push Keirers in a way that Kierers has never been pushed before,  they ought to give Keirers a nice shove into the river Thames.   Just for kicks.

Source

My Apologies to The Rexy Goddess

A few weeks ago I had the gall to say that Kate Moss had a bad sense of smell.   I was wrong.   She once said that L’Heure Bleue was her favorite perfume, and on her endorsement, I bought the stuff.  

And hated it.

Things have since changed; that perfume is divine.   It just took some getting used to or something.   Again, it is divine.  Smells like a spicy and powdery sunset.

In other news, Kate Moss is looking lovely again.   She’s still making stick-fires with Jamie Hince, though.   Tant piss.  I really don’t like him nor do I like his pompadour.  

 

Happy Birthday, Tiffers Euphonius!

I know you want one of these things sitting on your front lawn, Tiffers.

I think it’s safe to say that all the cool bytches are/were born in October or something!     

Holler!   Happiest of Happy Birthdays to you, Tiffers!  I sincerely hope that your day is full of all of the splendor and assorted wonderfulness that you deserve it to be!

Much Lurve,

Anners

  

muchas maravillo!

yes, that is my leg he is grabbing in the pic above ;D and nice shout out to thomas mann, gorda!

ok, so what i want to know is what all the fellow interpol slags think of the new julian plenti shiz. do you love it? do hate it? are you meh about it?

i, personally, am not a huge fan of it. i don’t hate it but i certainly don’t have it in constant rotation with totbl and antics. i do love games for days and the video is serious hotness! plus i thought it was super cool beans that he used emily haines (from metric) as his hot lady friend in it.

is anyone going to be seeing him on tour? stella and i will be seeing him in l.a. and san diego (anners, you should totes come down and join us for the l.a. gig!) how about elsewhere? and how about abroad? i know he’s playing in europe… any euro slags heading to any of his shows out there? you can find the u.s. tour dates here and the european tour dates here.

i’ll leave you all with the fiery vid for games for days. i know this came out a million years ago but i could watch this on repeat for hours. ok, maybe i already have. one more time isn’t going to kill me! he is such a little hipster!

happy birthday dearest anners!!!

so happiest of birthdays to you, hot stuff!! i know my slack ass hasn’t been around for a while so i figured what better time to get back in to action than now?

you have such a way of making all of us laugh our collective keesters off! i have so much super massive respect for you and your school shiz. as always, i wish you the best in everything. you’ll so be kicking it’s sweet ass soon

oh and look, i found some pics of some hot boys who all just so happened to call me today to ask me to pass on their happy birthday greetings. for reals!!

ben wanted me to let you know that he carved his initials with yours in this here tree. true love forevs!! look how happy this makes him!!!

this is whorely’s very sad and apologetic face. he said he hopes you can forgive him for shagging the feral beast. he said he was totes roofied in to doing it. he wouldn’t willingly choose to touch her with a 10 foot long stick! will you take him back?

john told me to tell you he so wrote the song “anne” for you. the peeps doing the liner notes forgot to put the rs on the end of the name. a mistake he is very embarrassed about! you know he’ll find you!!

and cola gorda, well, he is very excited to be seeing you on the 18th of next month. he’s been waiting and waiting for the day to come. see, he’s biding his time, waiting on his stoop for you. it’s so exhausting being him!

anyway missy, i hope you are having a stellarly fantabulous wonderful birthday and that you get absolutely everything you could wish for! xoxoxoxo