Greese May Be Getting Married At Christmas

A source on the set of Jake’s new film, The Prince of Persia, is blabbed their lips all over the internet and said that:  “Jake is telling everyone they are getting married at Christmas.  He told me he had proposed several times but she kept telling him she wanted to give their relationship more time. When he asked her again a couple of weeks ago, she finally said yes.”

That’s cool beans!   Who cares!  No really, who cares.  What is anyone supposed to say about this?  I mean good for them, they’re hot bytches, but who cares.  

P.S. Reese was awesome in Freeway. 

Sorcery

This Hobby Horse Made 32 Million Last Year

… and I bet she spent it all on uppers.  Better living through chemistry, non?  Hee.  Just kidding.  I tease Keira Knightley, her beautiful and perpetual frown, and the dark cloud she walks under morning, noon and night.  I’m the same way, really.  I walk around looking like I escaped from a halfway house.  Stormy-faced bytches rule! 

Sorcery

Reese in the rain

This post doesn’t really have a point other than to prevent the 2 the fugly mugs featured in the previous post from being the first thing people see when they visit this site – so here is some pics of Reese Witherspoon being all cute in London.

 

Guess The Slags

Ha.   It’s Jake and Reese.   Yes, they are boring.   They’re also cute, cute stuff.  

Reese brings home the bacon

Reese Witherspoon took her 2 kids Ava and Deacon shopping for some new pets. They ended up taking home 2 cutsy piglets.

P.S. How cute is Deacon’s t-shirt.

Source

Gyllenspoon acting all cute

Anners has gone and so have my brain cells so you guys are gonna have to make do with random pics of celebs to satisfy your gossip needs right now.

I’m sorry.

Cool Beans

Avon lady Reese Witherspoon has been sporting a new accessory. The ‘women’s empowerment bracelet’ can be purchased from the Avon website for $3 and aims to raise money and bring awareness to issues facing women around the world.

Reese said, “I hope to see this bracelet on the wrists of women all around the world as a sign of solidarity and hope that one day every woman will be empowered and live a life free from violence.”

Source

Poor Reese

Reese Witherspoon says she was teased at school for being short and having four eyes.   Says Reese:  I was teased quite a bit. I was a four-eyed square with glasses and I was picked on because of my weird, short-person walk.”  But she’s over it.  ”At the end of the day, you just have to accept what you have been given and appreciate the flaws. You can’t get too down on it.”

So ephing true!  That Reese is full of wisdom.   I dig her.   Reese also wants the world to know that she won’t care too much should her own children be bullied:  ”I wouldn’t want my children to miss out on any of that teasing and bullying. I think it makes you what you are. These days everyone wins an award and everyone is named Most Valuable Player? No! They’re not.”

Thank you, Reese!   It builds character.  Now I don’t feel too bad about teasing Keira Knightley and the scores of others we tease here on this blog. 

Sorcery
 

There’s No “I” in Engagement

According to my sources (which usually blow), Jake Gyllenhaal proposed to Grease With A Spoon in Rome a few weeks ago (or was it months?), but she declined.   A source says that:  ”Reese says it is just too soon after her divorce from Ryan to think about marrying again. She is madly in love with Jake, but her divorce just became final, and she doesn’t want to rush into anything.”

The source also says that Jake went all out and planned a kick  ass day in Rome before “plucking up” the courage to ask his tiny girlfriend for her hand in marriage.   That’s so sad, really!  Reese just finalized her divorce from actor Ryan Full of Pee Philippe in October,  so I see her point.   But whatevs!   Either you see yourself spending the rest of your life with Jake’s arse or you don’t! 

Sorcery

Gyllenspoon Update

Looks like they’re still together and still full of smiles, but I know he is still thinking about Whorlando Bloom - just kidding, these two are cute, they need to make some cute celebrity babies already. Maggie’s little one could totally use a cousin to play with.

Janers

Dammit!

I adore Reese and Jake -but they have been spotted with one of those really irritating, smartass, ’I'm not a plastic bag’ bags which Keira Knightley seems so fond of and which, truly piss me off.  It’s not like I’m of those ’screw the environment people’ but we can see it is not a dam plastic bag and people generally use plastic bags for their groceries rather than as purses (which is how people seem to be using the smartass bag). 

That bag doesn’t look big enough to fit the bread and milk let alone a weeks worth of groceries (actually in Keirer’s defence, they probably carry a months worth of hers). If you want to save the environment go buy yourself a bunch of those 90 cent, large hessian grocery bags – don’t spend 15 bucks on this pissy little thing.

If these celebrities keep this up I’m going to design a plastic bag which says, ‘I’m a f**cking plastic bag bitch!’ and take it everywhere. 

GyllenHo is shaggable again

The nasty facial hair is gone – but he is looking cranky, did Reese dump his arse already?