Janers, Cola Was In Your Neck Of The Woodz!


Forgive me, Cola Gordians, for I have sinned.   I temporarily lost focus, blinded as I was by Orlando Bloom’s beautiful phucking face and flirty nipples, and I sort of let my feelings for Ashtanga Yoga Booty fall by the wayside.  Orlando turned out to be one of the bad ones.  Also, he’s a dingo shagger, and that’s all sorts of abominable.  I mean, a dingo!   At least Cola’s shagging a cougar, and cougar’s are at least feline.

Also, some other things kind of killed my vibe.   Mainly unwanted attention.   Seriously, I did not sit down and say:  “Oh Jeezus!   I need to start blogging about Interpol so that I can become infamous on the internetz.”  It makes me ultra uncomfortable, to be quite honest.   I seriously and literally had no damn clue that slags were into Paul and the dudes and I had no idea what I was getting into when I started publicly declaring my crush on Cola’s music.  Whatever.  I am at peace with it now.  Anyways, some random stuff:

  1. Does anyone have any pictures of Banksy holding a can of coca-cola?  I think it’s obvious why this would be cool beans.
  2. Do you find me to be sugar-hyped?  Do I seem like I’m bouncing off the walls all the time?  I swear, someone gave me this epithet on their website.  So not ephing true!
  3. Is it just me, or does Cola seem to be putting on a little weight?  I wonder if he’ll pop up on The Skinny Website pretty soon.   Do you know about the Skinny website?  It’s a very clinical and retarded blog about the weight fluctuations of celebrities.  It deserves all sorts of kudos!   And by ‘kudos’ I mean  virtual stones should be thrown at it.
  4. Yes, I have no access to the ‘official’ messboard.   I am in withdrawal over my loss of La Maleditaa and her Cola Gordisms.   Do any of you still hang out there?  Can you fax me any pertinent info regarding her and the pieces of genius that comprise the bulk of her posts?
  5. La Maleditaa?   Can I interview you?  Please, if you read this, send me an email.   We’ll share a soda, a pie or whatever.
  6. Oh, and CONGRATULATIONS to the beautiful and sweet Master Tsukai.   She’s preggers!   :)
  7. Janers!   Interpol was in New Zealand and Oz recently.   Why did you not tell them to visit the blog?  Slacker.

* Cola Gordian Tamuchi and Cola Gordian Jossie sent me some pics of Cola and Carrrlos.   Thanks, slags!



I <3 giant wristbands!




^ Jajajajjajaa.


33 thoughts on “Janers, Cola Was In Your Neck Of The Woodz!

  1. Ugg

    you are forgiven anners. hahaha. he is getting fatter. it’s awesome. i think this is the closest to a coca cola i can think of (it’s prob beer) but WE CAN PRETEND.


    I GET TO SEE INTERPOL IN JULY for the first time. i’m going to die. and i’m stalking him too. i have big plans. heheahahhaheheh. YAYYYYYY. and i’m gonna take a bunch of pics, it will probably be good ones too, because the sun is still up when they play(i think) SO YAYYYY. hahahha. and he better cut his hair before that time comes. i hope the cougar is there. i’m gonna smack her. hahahha.


  2. me

    Anners, you should forget about Orly and just focus on Cola Gorda, now. ;)

    That’s awesome, Ugg. You have to share your pictures with us.
    and, yes, you smack her….

    Kick: Carlos looks hilarious in that pic. haha.


  3. la maleditaa (cris)

    “La Maleditaa? Can I interview you? Please, if you read this, send me an email. We’ll share a soda, a pie or whatever. ”

    GOD SAVE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


    certain “bird” told me about this challenge.

    what can i say?? yes? maybe? no?

    jesus christie!!!! too many things to do here!!
    i will try to report each step , everything about Interpol in Brazil.
    I need “pounds of lucky” people!!!!


  4. Morgan

    Cola needs a hair cut. I like the extra weight on him though…makes him look less evil. Every day I find myself more and more attracted to Carlos. That pic of him in the cardigan is way hot.

    Congrats, Master Tsukai!

    La Maleditaa – Here’s wishing you a few “pounds of lucky!” :)


  5. Anners Scribonia

    * La Maleditaa is going to write a report on Interpol in Brazil?! Yay!! Hi Maleditaaaa, you and Master Tsuakai are such lovely people. :)
    Oh, and Maleditaa: You can tell me NO. I will still share a pie with you. And I send you pounds and pounds of lucky.

    * Judy Garland, thank u for the tips… by the way, I got new wireless and now I have access to the IMB! W00t!!

    * Ugg: Nice try… but it needs to say “Coke or Coca-Cola”!!!1 :( jajajajajajaaa.

    * Me: You did not just tell me to forget about Orly!!!!!!! He’s just going through a phase. He’ll be right back in my arms… soon.

    * Morgan: ahahahahaha! He does look less evil.


  6. tamuchi

    Glad to see you put the pics to good use, Anners, and that you got your focus back!

    I think someone may have to photoshop a pic of Cola with a Coke. I think his soda of choice is the Dew. And if I’m correct, that’d be right scary.

    Cris (La Maleditaa) slays me! Hope she gives into the interview…I can’t wait for her pics and words after Interpol hit Brazil. Here’s to pounds of lucky!


  7. Anners, I can´t believe you got banned from that place! Im really curious about what words caused that, hehe, not that I´m going to try myself…

    I´m trying to remember where I have seen Cola and a cola together, but if there´s not, maybe I could try a little of photoshop, let´s see…

    La maledita, I wish you all the luck in the world, well, for you and hazey. I do hope you can get to meet the guys and report everything back. I´m really excited for you girls!.

    Ugg: where exactly they are playing, I mean, which part of Norway exactly? I have been there and I have to say I´m so in love of Bergen. Wish I could go back again… and please give a good slap in the face to the cougar for me, could you? ;-)

    About Cola´s weight, he´s definitely with some pounds on, which is great, he was just too skinny… and I love his hair, I´m sorry but I think it looks great on him… God, I WANT TO shagg him so badly… :-P


  8. Anners Scribonia

    * Zu, when you speak of “Hazey” do you mean “Hazey Jane”? I like her. She seems nice.

    * I have access to IMB now!!!!

    * Could someone please photoshop a picture of Cola with a can of cola? PLZ?!


  9. Stella

    man I miSs a lot when I don’t hit up the blog
    I haven’t noticed that Paul has gained weight…
    i prefer my Paul circa TOTBL


  10. D. Solrac

    Ahhhhhhh – an interview with THE La Maleditta???
    That’s great!

    Anners, what the hell got you banned from the IMB?

    Morgan and I were discussing the slight Banksy weightgain, and we are proposing that may have quit smoking, thus the poundage. Let’s all be on the lookout for cigs.


  11. Kelly

    He did put on those pounds very quickly, D. Solrac. I hope he quit smoking although it’s prob due to the 3 square meals he’s getting at chez Cougar.


  12. kick

    Anners—The mods on the official board are humorless slags so you should be proud you got kicked off!

    There may be pictures of Paul with some coke but not a Coke. They prob won’t make it on to the internet though.


  13. yep, Hazey Jane! She´s really nice and also brazillian so… I expect full reports of both of them! haha…

    Yeah, people in the forum dont have really sense of humor!! please share the story of you being banned! hehe…


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