Speckled Like A Cougar

I fall off the Interpol wagon for two seconds and everybody changes their damn faces and stuff?  I was first alerted to Cola’s haircut by Master Tsukai a few days ago.  Or was it a week and some change?  I don’t know!  Whatever, it was a good move; he needed a damn haircut.  Then Morgan threw a small squee party on her blog about Cola’s brand new grey arm band.  It’s hot!  I love his ginormous wrist/arm bands!  Infinitely sessual.

So I hit up the messboards again.   Glad to see that nothing has ephing changed!  Cola still rules supreme on the photo thread.   There are 4604 posts for his Ashtanga Yoga Booty alone!  Impressive.  Carlos is at 1984 posts, the Amish Boy is at 1116, and FogarinHo is at 674.  What the eph?  Show some damn respect to Samuel, bytches!  Just start posting shit on there so he doesn’t feel bad when he visits.  You know he does, BTW.  They all do.  Even the Cougar!   Are there any new mods over there?  If so, be assured that she is one of them.  She’s watching us.  I swear to the heavens that woman googles her self each and every morning after her quotidian phone call to Josh Hartnett.

There was a point to all this.  I stumbled across a review of Interpol’s Manchester show on Female First.  For the uninitiated, it’s an online British tabloid, and that scared the bejeezus out of me.  I’m used to seeing stories about Rhys Ifans drowning his sorrows in booze because Sienna Miller dumped him, not stories about Interpol.  It’s corny as hell, by the way.   I pasted it for you.  You’re phucking welcome.

Sorcery

Interpol@Manchester Apollo Review

Thursday (10th) 12:23

New York’s finest Interpol returned to Manchester Apollo for a ‘warm-up’ gig prior to their headline appearances at T in The Park and Latitude.

Often unfairly labelled as Joy Division copyists because of their similarly deep and penetrable wall of sound. However with third album ‘Our Love To Admire’ it saw the band parade an impressive versatility and most of all, accessibility.

The aforementioned versatility is evident by the first two songs alone. Kicking off proceedings with the brooding ache of ‘Pioneer To The Falls’, they then transform into the post-punk revivalists we know and love with crowd favourite ‘Slow Hands’.

The relentless riff that introduces it causes a mass surge from the now-wild crowd, yet many punters are bewildered afterwards, have they played their trump card too early?

As well dressed as ever and with an eerie stage presence, between songs the band thank the audience and Banks often throws a wry smile, especially as wave upon wave of crowdsurfers crash into the arms of the fluorescent orange security men.

‘The Lighthouse’ provides the only downside to the night. It’s the irritating flamenco guitar that threatens to override the whole damn thing, a noble stab at “epic” perhaps. Yet a noble failure all the same.

Whilst the majority of bands have that one hit single which defines them, Interpol have never quite managed this. Not cool enough for the mainstream, too straight-laced for the alternative world, the crowd tonight is peppered with indie scenesters, ageing rockers and those in between with a discerning ear.

Yet for their lack of a breakthrough smash, they have style, substance and most importantly a hugely impressive back catalogue.

The fabulously titled ‘No I In Threesome’ roars through to ‘Evil’, a welcome recall to their Antics-era bile spewing brilliance. All the while Paul Banks et al retain a rare sincerity and when the words “We’ve been building up steam/Ignited by the fight” ricochet around the Apollo in the near-crucifying climax to ‘Next Exit’ it seems the fight has already been won.

And if there was any remaining doubt, it has well and truly been dispelled by the time ‘Mammoth’ blares out of the PA System. “Now we should dance like two fucking twins” sees Banks’s gentlemanly graces replaced by the grit of a true rock star and also finds 3,500 pairs of feet jumping hard enough to shake the foundations to it’s core.

Special praise also has to be given to support band Ladytron, think part Howling Bells, part Crystal Castles. A visceral set full of icy atmospherics and synth-pop bleeps that is well worth checking out.

But back to important matters. Interpol-if this is a band just making their tentative comeback, then Interpol are most definitely the must-see band this year on the festival circuit. They weren’t just warming up, Interpol were on fire.

Lee Sentino.

* And Now for some pictures.  I took the liberty of impersonating a crazed messboarder.  Sorry.

Ooh, Pauly.  So peaceful, so calm.  Looks like a little boy, no? ; )

Oh PHUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Those arms!!!!!  Don’t be shy, boss!  We like your arms, but we like your FACE too!  hdsfjhfjshfjsds!!1

What do we have here?   Is that the faint traces of an ass shot?   Why no pictures taken from behind (pun intended!!!!!!!)  :)  :)  :)  :)   I LOVE you Paul Banks!  Nice hat.  Nice arms.  Nice ASS.

Okay, I’m done impersonating messboarders.  It’s making my brain feel weird.   But I will say that Daniel Kessler has the most perfect nose.

Why is Carlos so damned beautiful?  It’s gross.

Sam denuded his scalp!   I kind of dig it.