Samanther Bloom, You Bytch!

Hanging with the enemy, I see, Samanther Bloom!   With Fandingo!  That’s Mirandingo’s new name.  She’s a fantastic wetodd and she’s a dingo.  Thus, fandingo!   Hmm…  what sort of damage can I inflict armed with these images?   Probably like none whatsoever!   Darn it!!!!  

I’ll just spout abuse off to Whorelando’s once-pretty head.

Hi Whorelando, you fabulous wanker!  Long time no squee, mothaphucka!   You just aren’t doing it for me these days.  It’s so odd!   Seriously, I haven’t freaking cared about your ass ever since that dykes on bykes special pap session you and the nassty dingo put on last month in New York or whatevers.

It’s all about Ben Barnes.   You can’t act, and your fake dingo girlfriend needs to be working in a cabbage patch. 

Love and Venom,

Anners, who won’t be posting for a while because her ass is trying not to screw up her grad school  application season for the second time.

 

If you print out this picture, you can use Fandingo’s mug as a mirror.  Bytch shines, in a bad way. Shiny happy dingo, holding handspaws.  Oh and look at that — a barrier bewixt Whorelando and his dingo.  Are those keys?  The keys to her dingo cage?  Ha.

Um… why is he holding his sissy’s hand?  Sissy is awesome, BTW.  I think I heart Samanthers Bloom more than I ever liked Whorelando.  She’s looking way more like Will Turner than he ever has off the POTC set.  Also, slag dresses like a champ!

Author: Anners Scribonia

Bitters.

19 thoughts on “Samanther Bloom, You Bytch!”

  1. “dykes on bykes” <—– pricelesss!

    He still didn’t manage to look straight, did he?

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  2. For your consideration…. If you had absolutely no idea who these two women were and assumed they were his girlfriends, who would you think he liked the best?

    I got to tell ya, it looks like Mirandingo is passing the baton to Whorley a la the Olympics or else she’s trying to steal his keys or phone or whatever that is. Not a lot of charisma between them there. However, the girl on the left (his lovely sister) looks to me like she’s the one he likes the most, especially in the third picture. He’s holding on to her tight and bringing her along with him. Hmmm…. (By the way, I don’t think I’ve EVER held my brother’s hand. Is that weird?) The Fandingo better catch up, they’re leaving her behind. I do believe he is only happy here because he’s with his sister and not because he’s with the Fandingo. I, too, love Samantha’s matching scarf and socks – a real fashion knockout!

    In the meantime, eagerly waiting for Ben Barnes new movie, Easy Virtue, although in the film’s trailer, Jessica Slag Biel looks like she is going to ruin the entire movie with her horrible acting. May have to wait until the Dorian Gray film for true satisfaction. Whorley’s awfully handsome here, but Ben Baby knocks my socks off.

    Good luck on your grad school application Anners, but please come back by November when Ben does press for his film. There should be some fab pix of him for drueling over.

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  4. U iz back! I woz wondering where you’d disapeared too.

    I’d be so pissed if my brother started bringing underwear models home. I’d also feel pretty awkward if my brother was holding my hand in the street (especially with a panty model on the other one).

    I’m starting to warm up to this Bin Bons after visiting Ali-ers blog. He kinda looks feminine but I like his posh accent and from the few short clips she’s posted there it looks like he can act.

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  5. I don’t like Ben Barnes. I totally feel left out.

    Whorely looks like such a tool in these pictures. It’s like he’s finally resigned himself to the fact that this is the only work he’ll ever get again so he might as well make the most of it.

    I do so miss the days when he’d hide from the paps under his hoodie.

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  8. I love how Whorly and Fandingo never look at each other. She, the Dingo, has a smug face whether looking down or at the camera. I wanna smash her face.

    I think Samantha is pretty.

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  9. Wanda and I are sharing a brain cell right now, can you feel it Sister Wanders? I totally agree with you.

    I, too, am loathe to jump on the Bennie Barnes bandwagon, or even BB himself for that matter. He’s gonna have to try a little harder to woo me away from the Whorelando. I remain steadfast, even in the face of such desperate “wetodded” papalogical outings. Bringing in the sibling was a smart move though, you know our loveable little cupcake is holding on for dear life chanting under his breath “my big sister will save me from the eville dingho, my big sister will save me even if I’m a weenie wetodd.” It’s like the #1 rule of birth order. Sam’s scarf is really her superhero sister cape and she’s getting ready to open a can of whomp-ass all over that pfugly-faced thong model.

    Oh yeah, good luck with the edu thingie, Anna.

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  10. I love reading your comments on this mess, Anners! Orlando really does look like he’s sucked into this and making the most of it. I’d probably call in my sister as a reinforcement as well. And why is MK smiling like that? You’d think she’s at a photo shoot. Maybe she thinks she is… Or maybe she’s trying to take our attention off the fact that she apparently owns one pair of jeans, one blazer, and a couple of t-shirts and just rewears them constantly. For someone who knows when she’s going to get papped, she sure doesn’t mix up the wardrobe much, does she?

    Best of luck on the grad school app.

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  11. Dingo: im sew secksy and famos!

    Whorley: I can’t believe I’m only getting $14 an hour to be this bitch’s boyfriend. Johnny Depp’s gonna break my kneecaps if I don’t pay my gambling debt.

    Sam: I’m gonna break Whorely’s kneecaps if he asks me for any more money.

    Thank you, I’m here all week.

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  13. Anners and Janers:

    Nice to be back. FYI, I’ve been away because I was relocating from San Francisco to Los Angeles – can you believe it? I had no internet access for a couple of weeks. I see I didn’t really miss much, same old, same old.

    Next time Whorley’s in L.A., I’ll be on the official lookout for him so I can give him what-for! He’s going to regret the day he ever betrayed you rockin’ gals (and all the rest of us)! Maybe I’ll leave a note on his doorstep. Hee, hee. (No, I won’t spray paint it on like Poor Sienna’s house!)

    I posted on Alli-er’s blog – it was the “shiz.” (Is that what you say? You all have the most wonderful secret vocabulary. I’m learning.)

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  15. Anners, you will be missed! I’m wishing you all the best on your applications.

    Hopefully Bloom will have wised up by November so we’ll have even more reason to celebrate.

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  19. Funny Dingo looks like a horse in the first pic. Man it’s times like this im so happy she isnt attractive looking. She always looks like a hot mess, in her candids. At least they dont have aribrushings like they do in her photoshoots. Im sure she will be pleased to have that done.

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