Dear Whorelando,

potc20interviewsIf you still looked the way you do in the photo to the left, maybe I’d care about the engagement rumors with the dingo.  Alas, you don’t, and so I don’t. 

Not yet, anyway.

Give me a week!  If it seems these rumors have legs, you best watch out… Mayphrayn may go into convulsions.  This really may push her over the edge and inspire her to put together a preemptive wedding album or something.

I kidd you, Mayphrayn!  :)

Eph me, Whorelando! Pleasssssee?  After you’ve been treated for your STD problem (Sausage Tainted by a DingHo), of course.

* Thank you, Akeelers, for breaking my heart.

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24 thoughts on “Dear Whorelando,

  1. icky poo

    No joke wanda, Did you notice it was only on the blogs that no one reads?
    Someone needs attention for her show so she planted it.
    If you read the article it also has all kinds of not so nice things to say about
    whorlie.

    Did you also see Ted Casablanca’s Q&A section? I think he is more reliable than the bottom feeder blogs.

    “Don’t feed the Dingos” should be your moto. This girl wants your attention and for you to believe her nonsense.

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  2. Mystic

    He looks so beautiful in that picture. I don’t think the rumors are true cause he was with Kate for 4 years and nothing happen and any idiot can tell he really isn’t into the Dingo.

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  3. Akeelers a.k.a.glamma_puss

    I’m so sorry Anners. I was hesitant at first because I went around to all the blogs and the mess boards and no one mentioned it. Whether Cabbage is lying or not, she still has an ass whoopin’ coming for making me spit my Bartles & Jaymes all over my computer.

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  4. Co

    Chin up ladies. That rumor was started by an article in In Touch magazine not People magazine. It has not been in the Us news or People. Even though i don’t believe it, it is still horrifying to see in print. Time will tell if he is really that stupid. I don’t think he is. That pic you posted is at least 5 years old, does anyone look exactly the same? I think Orlando is still just as beautiful now as than. If only he didn’t have that nasty STD! Let’s hope he’s cured by X-mas!

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  5. jaded4good

    Co, thanks for the heads up. Funny, I tried to look for the original in IT and didn’t find it, but stranger things have happened in this showmance.

    BTW I look better than I have 5 yrs ago.

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  6. Voxy

    At the same time the marrage rumors appeared another magazine said that whorelando was flirting with Natalie Portman at a party. I almost threw felt sad for the dingo because her 15 ephing minutes are about up and soon she will be pushed to the curb. Until that, making everything right again, moment I hold out that the tabloids are just physhing for information to sell to the whorelando community.
    I mean every week there are stories about brad walking out on angelina while at the same time another magazine is saying they are the happiest they have ever been.
    But still, I think we should kidnap and force feed the dingo food or lock her up in a doughnut shop for a week. Best payback would be one that makes her gain weight. lol.
    By the way, great definition for STD. You are a genious.

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  7. Jaded I will never turn down an opportunity to publicly chastise Whorelando Bloom for his deplorable taste in animals.

    Akeelers: You drink Bartles and James?! Jaja!

    CO: I meant his hairs and composure. He’s still a fine specimen.

    Mystic: Seriously. If Whorelando wants to get married he’ll go back to Bosworth. She is a good girl. How do I know this? I don’t. Ja.

    Hi Voxy! Don’t ever feel sorry for the dingo; She’s evil.

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  8. anywho11

    Yeah Im also effing tired of all of the fake wedding shit. CPK is getting om my nerves with this shi-t. I hate her fug greasy face, but it humors me to much, it makes me feel better about my non greasy, non broad nose phace. Im glad I dont have a mug like hers at least.

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  9. Poor Orlando

    Voxy: I love your idea about locking the Dingho up in a doughnut shop for a week. Wouldn’t that be a hoot! She’d come out all delirious and pimply from sugar and chocolate. The thought of that makes me smile.

    How about this… five years from now, after Orlando has made 4 new movies and married some gorgeous American actress and had 2 kids, we should try to find a current picture of the Dinghotwit. It would be an absolute hoot to see what she looks like then, all dried up with lots of wrinkles, droopy cheeks, and an empty bank account. I wonder if by then she’ll be working her butt off on some farm way out in the outback or working her butt off on the streets in North Hollywood. Where do dinghoes go when they have no use anymore?

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  10. slapparr

    lol good post!! it may be a pile of shite but an not ripping the shite out of whorli is truly an opportunity missed – i was hoping we might get a post on this shite

    and i’ll drink to the Dingho coming out all fat and ugly lol in the end, but thats cos i am a mean bytch!

    I do hope Whorli gets rid of his sausage disorder by Christmas, i imagine if you suffer with STD for too long you risk scarring!

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  11. Voxy

    I think he is already scarred. I think all that is left is to hope that he doesn’t come out with the dingo’s claws, knuckle deep in his skin.

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  12. jaded4good

    I don’t care much for his skin, that is designed to change with time. I just wanna see the fire in his eyes again, that makes the rest of his face gorgeous regardless of wrinkles, facial hair or whatever.

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  13. slapparr

    yes it would be good to see whorli ditching the dingo, and doing some work –

    the fire in his eyes seems to have gone on a long vacation…

    come on whorli make it good christmas all round

    we’ll all sing “Dingoes gone merrily on high with you” :D

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  14. mia

    I think that Miranda is the source of all “insiders infos” about their engagement. All started after the meal in Primitivo restaurant. On the paps pictures in front of the same restaurant that evening, it is more than obvious that Orlando is fed up with MK. He did not hug her back, she was all smile, he was evidently bored. And after that evening all rumors started. She went to Florida, he went to Moscow. And in Miami she denied their marriage plans. Fake fake fake. Relationship and everything about it.

    Like

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