Hi, Whorely.


And here we are, eagerly awaiting your next staged pap shots with the dingo…  the phandumb is getting restless, though.   Seriously.  Just Peep the latest dingo thread at Just Jared.  It’s Just Hilarious (and terrifying)!   Do you want to know how padme got her name?  It has nothing to do with anything except the fact that one day, after she pounded her head against her wall for the umpteenth time, it spoke to her.  What did the wall say?  “Pad me.”

WhOrly, I know that you do this out of respect for us….  spread the pap shots over weeks-long intervals.  On one hand it breaks your heart to have to put me Joders, Wanda, The Delphi goddesses, Akeelers,  Jaded, Sadie Jo, and all three of your other fans  throught the charade of seeing you pretend to love dingo lady.  But on the other hand, you and the dingo have a symbiotic relationship:   You’re the parasite that nestles in her dingo fur or something and she needs you to rid her of  bacteria.  Plus, it’s your only jobber right nows .  

Where the eph are you anyway?  I miss your declining beauty.  HazeyJane said you were in Brazil last week.  Can dingo’s thrive in a tropical climate?  If not, why not send her there for an extended vacation? 

I’m still open to having your babies. Maybe!




37 thoughts on “Hi, Whorely.

  1. zuluzulu5

    wheh. I miss that guy.
    I Almost forgot that that was what he looked like before he started to decay from excesive exposure to CPK.


  2. Akeelers a.k.a.glamma_puss

    A hazmat suit ought to be a requirement when going to the dingho’s thread. Ick!

    Whorely, you hating ass bitch! Since I know it was you who gave my Barnesy the bright idea to try out for Twilight, you and him can go stand on the unemployment line together because I am not supporting that shit!


  3. SadieJo

    Hey Anners, I like the new Bozzie/Whorley pic in the header. Very cool. But I hated the snow feature until I found out that moving my mouse left and right makes the flakes change direction. Been trying for 5 minutes to get the flakes to go up OB’s nose but can’t quite accomplish it.

    I really only came back to look at the pretty Whorelando picture again.


  4. Sister Scribonia Invidiosa of the Headspasm League

    SadieJo where’s your X-mas spirit? How could you not like snow? And haha, I’m with Wanda: I don’t think it will ever fall upside down.

    Wanda, did Mr. Rizzuto leave?


  5. SadieJo

    In the real world, you have a valid point. Snow falls. But, snow can fall up, or at least upwards in Orlando’s world. First battle scene, Kingdom of Heaven in the forest where Liam gets shot with the arrow. Subpar special effects engineering or by creed of the snow gods, you make the call. Either way, that stuff’s going up.


  6. Sister Scribonia Invidiosa of the Headspasm League

    Damn! You mean I have to watch that boring ass movie again? Orly was sooo phuglee in KOH.



  7. SadieJo

    Do it. All of you. You’ll start to notice the amazing upfalling snow when Balian meets his papa on the trail, before he tells him “I have done…..murder.” The next 5 minutes have multidirectional snow scenes.

    And then, thanks to that stupid pants word game, every time Balian says that line “how can you be in hell when you’re in my heart?” I think “how can you be in hell when you’re in my pants?”

    Stoopid game.


  8. Poor Orlando

    Who in the world is that absolutely gorgeous specimen of a man? No, is it, no, it can’t be. Is that Orlando Bloom? Oh my, where has he been? I heard a rumor there was some imposter hanging out with a dried up ugly-phaced supermodel dingho (I use the term supermodel very loosely), but surely the picture above is the REAL Olando Bloom. Perhaps he was kidnapped and held against his will so the imposter could go out and destroy the real Orly’s career and reputation. This is indeed a conspiracy of the most evil proportions!

    We must call Interpol and have the imposter and his cabbage-patch-head of a partner-in-crime hunted down and placed in shackles while all of their pictures are painstakingly removed from the internet immediately so the real Orlando can reenter the world and our hearts once again and release us from the hell we’ve been living this past year and a half.

    Whorely, you were sooooo gorgeous. It hurts my eyes.

    (Wall says, “Pad me.” Ha, ha, ha, ha. What a mind.)


  9. Slapparr

    :( the once beautiful Whorelando Bloom…….. how stunning and artistic he looked back then – before dingho rot set in (and come to mention it career rot also)…. i miss this guy :(


  10. anywho11

    We all miss that guy. I dont know if that guy would come back out even when he does break up with her.

    But then again I cant imagine him on a solar powered farm in some hick town, (Gunnehdeh), shoveling up cpk’s ponys shiz. She may want that but I dont think that OB really is going to live the rest of his life like that. Living with her and her hick family just famewhore off of him forever.


  11. Steffers

    Orli used to be SO PURTY! How can one guy change so drastically in just a year and a half? I always thought he’d age really s-l-o-w and mel-l-ow — more like The Deppster. (Sigh.) Looks like my pretty poncy elf-pirate is gone for good!


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