Distraught DingHo

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 Aw, MirandingHo looks sort of cute all sullen and depressed-like.   She should be this way all the time.  

In a perfect world, this article would actually be titled At World’s End:  The Whorelando and Dingo Show  Has Run It’s Course, and every word would be the Lord’s honest truth. 

Alas, it’s not a perfect world and the dingo is probably still grinding her dingo bits against Whorelando’s human body.  Yeah, the article is basically some tabloid hash that says that Mirandingo is tired of being treated like the wild animal she actually is by her depressed boyfriend, Whorelando Bloom.  There’s even a special little box that details the silly fight they had a few days ago in New York.   The fight supposedly started when they were eating (yeah, right) at some restaurant and the dingo told Whorelando:  “Eye really wawnt four us 2 go back 2 meye tinee apawrtmint and mayke luv tewnite.  Itz bin sew lawng.”

And Whorelando said:  “Dream on bytch.   I’m going to a strip club and there’s nothing you can do about it.  Go home and cry your cabbage patch ass to sleep.”

Here’s the article.   I’m just posting it for posterity.

Part A

Part B

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20 thoughts on “Distraught DingHo

  1. Ok,MirandingoHO,you are 26 and still hoping to make it big, newsflash, you wont, you are now to old to be a model, go to your farm, and grow some children, k, bye.

    Like

  2. Joders

    I’ll be back later on with another comment that will showcase my scathing humour.

    In the meantime Moronduuhhh, I’ll leave you with this. Eat something. Or if you’re eating, stop throwing it back up again. It’s not normal when your knees are the same width as your thighs. Or when your skinny jeans are so loose that it shows how abnormally skinny you’ve actually gotten. (Though I have to ask how it is that your body and your boobs appear to be shrinking before our very eyes, yet your chipmunk cheeks are still as well, chipmunky, as usual??)

    and the dingo is probably still grinding her dingo bits against Whorelando’s human body – thank you for that happy little visual, Anners.

    Like

  3. Mystic

    I can’t wait til she goes away, never to be heard from again.

    Seriously I don’t think she could get an skinnier, I mean she can just turn sideways and disappear.

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  4. Anners Scribonia

    That was meant to be a showcase for your scathing humor, Joders? Haha, I tease. Sorry about the dingo bit visuals…

    Jossie: The part about “growing children” cracked me up especially since she herself was birthed in a cabbage patch.

    Mystic: Hopefully she’ll ust disapear and hopefully she’ll do it pretty soon.

    BTW: Is the header too dingo-friendly?

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  5. Joders

    Sorry Anners, that cleary was not the comment showcasing my scathing wit (and neither is this one!).

    I didn’t realise you’d used the same photo from the article for your header. I thought it was my work computer having a spack attack because I was on a blog and making me see more than one of the same picture.

    I like it because she doesn’t look smug, she looks (dare I say) miserable. It’s about time someone wiped that smug expression off her smug bitch face.

    As an aside I also like the photo of her looking upset and holding her laptop while she’s waiting in line and the one of her crying while she’s on the sidewalk in NYC last year (when Whorely is packing his gear into the trunk of the car to make his getaway).

    Like

  6. Poor Orlando

    You know, I want to bottle up and sell whatever Orlando’s got that makes all his girlfriends so super skinny. I could make a fortune!

    Hey, Whorley, please date me next so I can drop about 20 pounds. Thanks.

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  7. bruna

    Dear CPK,

    STOP assuming or making it appear that you’re the best among your fellow models cause that isn’t the case biyatch. WAKE UP. Bigtime designers don’t want you. Cosmetic companies don’t want you. Highfashion magazines don’t want you. Funny that some models who aren’t dating famous actors are doing much better than you. That’s sure aint jealousy lol

    Like

  8. wishful thinking

    DOUTZEN you rock! How i wish you’re the girl of Orly. I’m sure it will be a whole different story. No famewhoring. No lies. Not so many pap set ups and most importantly, you aint gonna use Orly for attention or to make it BIG.

    p.s. Orlando won’t be ashamed or look ridiculous everytime he’s on some prestigious events with a gf like you. Just wishful thinking!

    Like

  9. slapparr

    Whorli should market that potion – there are a lot of people with a weight problem in the world….

    not least of all all us fat jelluz toofless haterz… hey, i wonder what he has to deal with dental problems…..

    Like

  10. ducati

    Okay, the banner almost gave me a heart attack, I love this site but the mega size picture of the dingo is to much to take.

    Like

  11. Thank you for this little gem, Gretta. Excuse me while I go and stab myself in the eye with a pencil. With some luck I might be able to pierce my brain. Then I’d be almost as smart as Miranda Kerr.

    Like

  12. Anners Scribonia

    Mystic, she makes a fool out of herself. You know the guy who claimed to kill Jon Benet Ramsay? His name is John Mark Carr and dingwhore thinks he’s a “brillyint fashun designuh”. ahahahaha

    Thanks, Gretta!

    Like

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