Aw, MirandingHo looks sort of cute all sullen and depressed-like. She should be this way all the time.
In a perfect world, this article would actually be titled At World’s End: The Whorelando and Dingo Show Has Run It’s Course, and every word would be the Lord’s honest truth.
Alas, it’s not a perfect world and the dingo is probably still grinding her dingo bits against Whorelando’s human body. Yeah, the article is basically some tabloid hash that says that Mirandingo is tired of being treated like the wild animal she actually is by her depressed boyfriend, Whorelando Bloom. There’s even a special little box that details the silly fight they had a few days ago in New York. The fight supposedly started when they were eating (yeah, right) at some restaurant and the dingo told Whorelando: “Eye really wawnt four us 2 go back 2 meye tinee apawrtmint and mayke luv tewnite. Itz bin sew lawng.”
And Whorelando said: “Dream on bytch. I’m going to a strip club and there’s nothing you can do about it. Go home and cry your cabbage patch ass to sleep.”
Here’s the article. I’m just posting it for posterity.