Whorelando Bloom Links

Once upon a time, this man (the one on your left) use to be beautiful and happy.  Then a DINGO with mange came along, stole his joy, sucked out his hotness, and started parading him around in front of the world like he was her bytch.   I can’t be tolerating this shiz.  Neither can Wanda or Joders.

Please feel free to post Orlando and MiranDingo news here.  It’ll be like a ghetto messboard.

Here are some sweet links:

1. Joders started a story about us slags saving Orlando from the clutches of the demonic dingo (It’s hilarious and brilliant!): N.B. I DID NOT WRITE THIS.  JODERS WROTE IT.  THIS LINK WILL TAKE YOU TO HER SITE. 


2. Wanda’s Bodice-Ripper (It’s Hilarious and Brilliant!):   N.B. I DID NOT WRITE THIS.  WANDA WROTE IT.  THESE LINKS WILL TAKE YOU TO HER SITE. 

Part 1 

Part II


3. Wanda’s Killer Investigative Reporting (It’s Hilarious and Brilliant!):

 The Case Of The Phoney Hollywood Romance Part I

The Case of The Phoney Hollywood Romance Part II and 2.5

The Case of The Phoney Hollywood Romance Part III

4.  Orlando Bloom Delphi Forum  (Hotness!)

75 thoughts on “Whorelando Bloom Links

  1. Daners Isadora a.k.a. Busty St. Clair

    jajajajajaj!!! Keep your gay boyfriend away from my STRAIGHT SESSY HOT (who happens to look VERY gay in Troy) boyfriend


  2. Daners Isadora a.k.a. Busty St. Clair

    He’s not gay!!11!! He only seems that way because your boyfriend’s gayness skewers the whole picture!


  3. Daners Isadora a.k.a. Busty St. Clair

    BTW, do you think this is what Anners had in mind for the start of the messboard? tee hee


  4. Daners Isadora a.k.a. Busty St. Clair

    Oh, NOT PHAIR! Going to bed after slinging mud! I see how it’s going to be. How about your boyfriend likes PENIS!

    Sorry Anners that this is ow it had to start :(


  5. Daners Isadora a.k.a. Busty St. Clair

    If by *his you mean *his boyfriend’s then I’m all on board with that!!

    Okay, I’ll stop. Orly is not gay. He’s just effeminate.


  6. joders

    Bugger, have I written 8 parts already? Just 2 more parts to go (I think) and the epilogue.

    And Orly is NOT gay! He’s in touch with his feminine side, he’s poetry in motion (when he’s not with the dingo), but he IS NOT gay.


  7. Kellers

    E-R-I-C B-A-N-A – isn’t he gorgeous in that pic? Oh, and that little girl next to him is cute as a button. jijijijiji :)


  8. Hey, have you guys been to JJ or Delphi lately? All the slags are lurking on each other’s forums and talking smack about each other. It’s the most awesome thing ever! If I ever start taking sides please kill me.


  9. Kellers

    Actually this and the occasional Perez are the only celeb gossip blogs I visit. :) It’s fun to dish with slags from all over da vurld.

    Anners, not so much a beatdown as a throwdown (with Eric Bana, of course.) ;) I’ve just seen the Boleyn movie and Troy, hence my sudden Bana-fication.


  10. Wanda: I know. I like those delphi girls. They posted some totes re-re pics of Mianda from way back when. Please kill me.

    Kellers has been banana-fied! Hee! It is quite fun dishing with slags all the world over.


  11. Jaded

    Wanda, I lurk a whole lotta boards only because all the time on the world would not be enough to comment everywhere. :) Not to mention that some places *cough* JJ *cough* are swarming with functionally illiterate peeps so after a while you realise there is no sense in trying to make intelligent conversation, all your reasoning is wasted. At the same time, I post as Jaded wherever I go, so I don’t feel like I should be ashamed of anything.


  12. joders

    Yep. I’m sure changing in and out of 30 swimsuits, 250 pieces of clothing and 20 pairs of sunnies is such hard work. Especially when you’ve hair and makeup artists fixing your hair and make up all phreakin’ day long. And someone handing the clothes to you. Crap, it’s really hard to put one leg in a pair of pants and then the next leg. I mean which leg do you put in first??

    And I’m sure young girls are gonna believe the tripe she’s sprouting in her book about not having to be a size zero to be beautiful. Frankly I don’t see how a size zero, Victoria’s Secret model who’s rolling in cash and shagging Orlando Bloom is gonna be able to make a teenager who wants all that but hasn’t got it feel good about it.


  13. Jaded

    Joders, you’re making a mistake in assuming that the book’s target audience is using or even in possession of a fully functional brain. Otherwise, why would anyone buy a self help book written by a panty model instead of one by, oh, I don’t know, a psychologist, or anyone who knows what the hell she’s saying and how it could effect others?


  14. Wanda I just read that article and I fear my brain will never recover. She’s so stoopit! If Orlando shows up at that dumb ass show I’m ripping this blog down. And I’m gonna punch him in his teeth. Bytch will be beyond redemption at that point. Eph. Him.


  15. joders

    That’s a very good point you make Jaded. I forgot for a minute what it’s like to be a brain dead teenager (before all the teenagers out there start hopping up and down on one foot – I KNOW that all teenagers are not brain dead. Just the ones who will buy the dingo’s book).

    Noooooo, Anners. Don’t rip the blog down. Punch him in the teeth by all means. And when he grabs his mouth, I’ll kick him in the kneecaps. If he can’t get work, then for the love of God, he should stay home.


  16. Seriously Jaded. Why does this wench dingo feel the need to write a GD book. Those marketing wankers are shameless. It’s a simple case of striking whilst the iron is hot.

    Dingo is old (for a model), dingo is dating a puny, delicious wanker dumb enough to date a dingo and the delicious wanker is lurved by billions of slags with (admittedly) questionable judment who will tolerate his shiz. That means buying a phucking retarded book written by the dingo he’s banging.

    I fear for the world, really.


  17. Jaded

    Anners, it was probably a discussion with her agent similar to this: “lyke, I’ma gunnah bee mudellin’ fowr ah few moar yeerz, y’knowe, but, lyke, I’ma gunnah need sum other jawbs, y’knowe, after dis, lyke try sum actin’, y’knowe, but then I’ll need to look lyke, y’knowe, lyke a smart gurl, y’knowe, and a reely nice gurl, y’knowe, lyke sumwon who cares, y’knowwutimeeeen?” And her agent said “we’ll just hire a ghost writer for you to put together a self-help book for young girls and print your name on it”. She probably answered “I doun’t beleeve in gowsts”.

    (Jeez, writing with an accent is pretty damn difficult. Especially for a non-native. Kudos to Joders!)


  18. joders

    Wanda why do you feel pressured to be funny? You’re funny already.

    Anners, don’t worry about it. There are slightly less than smart people all over the place – even on the messboards.


  19. Thanks Wanda. I already found it tho… blog stats… and… hee! The Delphi people are cool beans.

    Thanks Joders. I tried to make it more clear that it was your story… I’ll remove the links if you say the word.


  20. joders

    Anners, I’m not upset, offended, wounded or confused (well maybe a little confused but that’s my pemanent state of mind) by any of this. Leave the links up. It’s all cool.


  21. joders

    What a load of bollocks! The Daily Telegraph is not exactly the most reputable newspaper in Australia. It always prints favourable dingo stories. Makes me want to vomit.

    The dingo must have lots of idiot friends who are voting in this stupid UK poll. Or maybe she’s voting multiple times for herself.

    Biggest load of BS I’ve seen in days.


  22. jayne

    I’ll vote for the underdog (no pun intended) to mix it up a bit. If everyone votes for Lima that will only put the dingho in second place since her people got a head start. If it’s mixed up more then she will be further down the list at the end.


  23. For reals, how do I get to be on her payroll? And I’m starting to believe what the tin foil hat people are saying about how she (or her friends) troll the internet looking for stuff about her.

    Hey Miranda, I’ll stop talkig cocky about you and I’ll blow smoke up your ass for a fee. Call me!


  24. Jaded

    Wanda, I am the “found link” nowadays. I bet the OLove ladies are voting for her like there’s no tomorrow.


  25. Co

    Hi ladies. I found some Duffy lyrics to a song called “Serious” Does this make anyone else think of Orlando’s situation with the Dingo? I can hear him saying these words when he finally wises up.


    “I’m a trophy on your arm,
    You wear me like a charm,
    Yes you do.
    An accessory that suits,
    Your new suede boots,

    I get a feeling deep down, inside,
    Something just aint right.”


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