A Most Phucked-Up Situation

The harbingers of bad news have told the world that Kate Moss, top rexy goddess of all times, is engaged to her wack-daddy boyphriend, Jamie Hince.   Jamie Hince!   O! the times!  O! The morals!

Kate Moss is playing some hardcore hard-to-get with Peter Doherty.   Deep down, she still wants him, as do we all.   Let me remind you that Pete Doherty is a gentleman and a scholar.   And a seks-machine.   And he has a nicely proportioned body.   And he may have slept with Carl Barat.   Damn.  Pete gets all the hot people.

You’re full of all sorts of crazy shit if you think that I’m going to link this news to anything that will lend credibility to this phucked-up situation.  I will not do it.

Kate needs to grow the phuck up and stop playing games with Pete’s soiled heart.

Long live Pete Dirtyho!

Mossers Looks Cool Again

 

Kate Moss looks like a woman who just dumped her lame scarf-toting, oui oui-strangling, and strange boyphriend and needs to celebrate.   I’m not saying this because of any actual reports of a break-up or anything, though.   Call it a hunch — there’s got to be some holy explanation for the new jaunt in her step.     

Here’s Katers leaving a meeting with the rich man who bankrolls her Top Shop line and gives her something to do besides going on vacations every two weeks, being mun of the year, and nursing herself to sleep at night by singing Babyshambles songs whilst cradling a bottle of Stoli Tonic.  

Kidding!  

 

Quo Vadis, Jamers?

The Scarf Monster (aka Jamie Hince aka Kate Moss’ soon-to-be ex-boyfriend) went missing for a day or two this past week.   Actually, the way I first read this story was that Jamers had gone missing after some dang concert with his band The Kills and was still out there somewhere wandering like a sad spirit.

A panic gripped me when I heard this news.  What if he had met with foul play?  I would have felt so awful for making fun of his scarf habit and his cramped oui oui station. 

I think he’s since been found.  

I also think that I care about this more than Kate Moss does.  She’s been avoiding his ass for days and she probably didn’t even know he was missing.  I think they’re on the verge of a break-up because that’s what I’ve been told by tons of  totally reliable gossip sites.   

Sorcery

It’s True!

Aw, she looks cute in this pic.   Anyway, real bad news ahead!   Kate Moss is totes gonna marry this creep show!   He wears the hell ouf of that awesome scarf, but he’s no Pete Doherty.  This is making me sad.  A source said Kate announced that she and Jamie were going to get married pretty soon, and that she was giggling and smiling like a loon when she said this.  Said a source:  “She came out giggling and seemed a little bit tipsy.  Lots of fans were taking her picture on their mobile phones. She told them, ‘I’m getting married’.”

Bollocks!  

Sorcery