a shy hobby horse

If you happen to see Keira Knightley galloping around London or wherevs, do NOT approach her.   She’s shy and she won’t like it.   While I’m sure that she’ll appreciate the fact that you care enough to say hello, it will make her umcomfortable. 

Because she’s shy.

Keira was quoted in British Vogue saying this: 

“I think (fame) broke something in me. I was told very early on that if I didn’t go out to openings and parties and events, I would be left alone. I didn’t, and they still didn’t leave me alone. I knew it was part of the deal in the life I had signed up to, but the fear of it has never left me. I’m still not good at being recognized. I wear scruffy clothes and hats and keep my head well down. I’m sure people must think I’m a complete b–, but I’m just very shy.”

I heart Kierers.

Source


What in the HELL is this?

What the hell is Kate Bozzers wearing?  It looks like a Carter’s t-shirt for toddlers that someone named Cher Coulter stapled a half-yard of mint-colored upholstery fabric to. 

This is NOT cool!

And who the hell shows up to some BS called the “2010 Style Awards”?   Kate Bozzers, I am losing faith in you.


Pete DirtyHo is designing Jewelry

 

His line is called Albion Trinkitry and the logo is pure class.   I love Pete DirtyHo!   I love his brain, his charisma, and the paunch contained in that gorgeous creme-colored sweater he is wearing.  

I have attached an image gallery of Pete for your viewing pleasure; you’re so very welcome.   I only wish that there were more of his jewels to showcase!  But if the resplendent chain hanging from his neck is any indication, his stuff has Kate Bozzers’ jewelmint shit beat down hard with a crack pipe.


The shirt is cute at least

My favorite comment: 

 

Source:  TFS


How did I not know that the evil genius was back?

Source

The Evil genius was referencing this picture.  

Damn, dingo!  Is nothing sacred?

P.S.  One of the commenters on the Huffington Post website thought that NSFW meant “Not Safe For Women”.   Ha, Ha, and Ha.


Woo Hoo

I would just like to thank the fine citizens of California for getting the repubs out of the governor’s castle.    That bytchface Swarzenegger has not o nly ruined the state, but also my eardrums,  my bank account (in the form of annual school fee hikes), and my LIFE. 

Prop 19 should have passed… boo….

And yay!   Carly Fiorina phucking lost!     

Okay, going away now.


I almost forgot to pimp Bozzers

Kate Bozzers, the goddess of wisdom and attenuated waistlines, started a line of jooree (aka jewelry) with her fabulous friend, Cher Coulter, who is a stylist to the stars and the owner of a rehabilitated neck, courtesy of Whoreland Bloom,  the wife of  a pregnant dingo named Miranda Kerr.

The line is called JewelMint (named after the color of  Bozzers’ left eyeball).   For $29.99 a month, you will be the (hypothetically) proud recipient of a new piece of jooree picked out by the goddess herself and Cher!   Their choice for you will be based on a style profile that you create on their website.   Never mind that you have no real options as far as creating one of these thingies!   Apparently one is either into boring, ugly, shit or fond of gallivanting around town with skinny jeans and bangle earrings weighing down their lobes.

I will have to pass on this Columbia House-styled jewelry project.   Just because.

If you’re curious, go HERE.

* In OTHER news, Kate and Vampire Weekend are still together.

 


Who is this woman pressing up against my boyfriend?

She’s so ephing wrong for this.  He’s doing his best not to offend her by shying away from this mauling, but I can tell from the stress in his fingers that he isn’t digging this.  

By the way, half the people reading this post (that means like, 1 person!) will think I am being quite serious about this.   No, person!  Ben Barnes is not my boyfriend.   But whenever the hell that is my educational career veers out of control, I like to loot his messboards in search of treasures such as this.

Ciao.


Lara Stone

Lara Stone is a real-live supermodel who is far too beautiful for words.   Here’s her pics from Vogue Uk’s Novemeber issue.  

Pics scanned by gossiping via greyeyes@TFS 


The Hobby Horse Nicked Off Her Hairs

Keirers Knightley cut her hair!!!   It is earth-shaking news such as this that pulls me back into the blogosphere.   The haircut was glimpsed on the set of some Chanel commercial Keirers is filming.   I don’t understand why they needed the motorbike, though, when a simple hobby horsey would have done the job brilliantly and ironically. 

Okay, going away now.

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interpol 9/7 space 15 twenty l.a.

so, i have to admit, even though it wasn’t nearly as intimate i think i liked tonight’s show more than last night. and it had everything to do with the set list of course! which included:

success, say hello to the angels, summer well, narc, lights, the heinrich maneuver, try it on, evil, barricade, not even jail – encore – take you on a cruise, stella was a diver… and slow hands!

everything was stellar – the weather was perfect and the sun was setting as they went through their set. it was in a parking of a music store and it was still a pretty small show. my faves from the evening included say hello to the angels and stella. paul’s guitar strap snapped or something mid-song and they kept soldiering on until they got his other guitar to him. total pros! luckily enough someone has already posted those two songs on youtube so they are below. after the jump are some of my (crappy) pics, too!

say hello to the angels (paul looking cute in his hoodie)

stella

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interpol 9/6 – kcrw show

pic credit: jeremiah garcia. more pics can from the show can be found here.

the show was absolutely amazing! i was able to secure a spot up front and it was way more intimate than i could have imagined. the night consisted of 4 songs, then an interview and then 4 more songs (see the set list below). kcrw will be broadcasting the majority of it tomorrow at 11:15 am pacific and you can listen to it here. they also videotaped it so keep the fingers crossed that they will post that as well! more about the show after the jump!

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the boys are back!

so hello my fellow interpol inamorata! the new self-titled  interpol album comes out tomorrow. aren’t you excited? yes? not so much? who hasn’t heard it yet? what are your deepest and darkest thoughts about it if you have? the reviews out there have really been a mixed bag. the oh so important music reviewers either seem to really like or really hate it. they are using all kinds of adjectives to describe it. in fact, if i see one more person refer to the newest offering as “their eponymous album” one more time i might vomit. anyway, i read an article and sam mentioned that he sees this album as a slow burn and it takes some time to really let it sink in. i’ve had it for a while and i have to agree, i appreciate it more and more with each listen. i wasn’t a huge fan at first but i am now to the point of obsessing on certain songs!

is anyone planning on going to see shows this time around? i’m lucky enough to be attending a small kcrw show tonight, an outdoor show tomorrow and the jimmy kimmel taping on wednesday. the benefits of living in so cal, i suppose ;) if anyone else is going to be around, give me a holler!

in the meantime, i’ll leave you with the new video for barricade. of course, cola gorda is looking all sorts of hot in it so there is even more of a reason to watch!


Let’s all agree to Boycott Italian Vogue

Mayphrayn scanned this. Lolz.

If  Italian Vogue thinks that  it’s okay to feature dingoes on their cover just because they are cheaper than hiring REAL MODELS, they are wrong.   Dumbasses!   If I had a subscription (as if I could afford it), I would totally cancel it because that’s just not right.   

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Will This Ephing Book Just Go The Eph Away?

When the dingo threatened to write a book a few years ago, she wasn’t ephing around!

In answer to the alert on the right-hand side of the screencapture:  No.   No I do not want you to email me when this dipshit literature becomes available!  I want you to flush it down the toilet! 

Though I very much doubt that this book cover is real (it’s too gross for words!),  I chose to post it here as evidence that this nutcase is serious as surgery about her literary phuckery.  (The real book cover will of course have the dingo rising as a tall poppy in a field of poppies.  Because she is the “tawrl porpy” and we all have tall poppy syndrome!)

Here’s the poorly-written write-up from Amazon.com:

 My thoughts:

  1. Was something mentioned about this being her ‘first’ book?  No!  No way is God going to allow this domesticated animal to write more than one book.
  2. I don’t quite understand why the book is going to be written for a “new audience of young adults”.  As opposed to what… an old audience of young adults?
  3. “this book has important lessons on self-confidence, inner beauty and acceptance that will resonate throughout their life journey”.   Replace “important” with ”bogus”. 
  4.  ”It uses some of the classic wisdom that has inspired Miranda to achieve….”  Why not use ‘all’ of it?  Why is Miranda holding out on us?
  5.  ”It presents [the] incredible life story of one of the most ridiculous successful international models  today with down-to-earth life lessons that anyone can relate to .  The only thing incredible about her life story is that God allowed her bad seed to go through.
  6. It offers fantastic tips and beauty secrets.  That’s nice.  Maybe she can share a few of these with her strange husband?
  7. 284 pages?  Really?  Isn’t this the moron who chained her naked body to a tree to protect the koalas?  I guess it’s okay if the koala’s lose their habitat so that she can publish a colletcion of phuckity nonsense?
  8. The made a horrible mistake in the product details!   The language of the book will most certainly not be in freaking English.   Dingoese, natch.

Mischtake Barton Strikes Again

  

Dear Mischa,

Your hair is ugly.


Yay or Nay?

Here’s Cher Coulter’s baby at the Vanessa Bruno Dinner at Chateau Marmont on July 21 in Los Angeles wearing something that I am not so sure works for her.  

 Because I am out of touch with the world, I had to google “Vanessa Bruno” in order to find out who the EPH she was.   Turns out that she is a French fashion designer,  she is opening a  boutique in L.A. in August (hence the parteeee), and that I hate her guts becasue there is a really annoying video of Lou Doillon doing stupid shit in her clothes on her website.

C’est vrai.


July is a good month for ephing around

 

Simpliciter

 
Because I was curious, I did some digging into how our lady of phuckery, Whorelando Bloom, came to be vested with an honorary degree.  Why, I wondered, was the University of Kent feeling so bloody charitable? Could it be that someone nominated Whorelando? Could it be that Whorelando nominated himself? Could he have possible donated some bones to the renovation of the Marlowe Theater?  
 
Ah, who knows and who KERRS?  
   
For fiction’s sake, this is how I like to envision the trajectory:   Whorelando Bloom got bored one day and typed “I want a phucking honorary degree” into his search engine.   The following information in the form of steps came up.  Whorelando reacts to the steps and so on…
 
 
 
 
 

 

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Have Neglected Bozzers A Bit

… but that’s only natural because she SUCKS.   Kidding.  Bozzers  doesn’t suck, but her boyfriend does!   Anyway, Bozzers has emerged from a long period of wearing really strange pastel-y and bleachy-looking clothes and so I felt she deserved a post.  This is a really cute outfit indeed but I strongly believe that a braid in the hair was in order.

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And I thought college textbooks were expensive.

Mario Testino’s Kate Moss book is going to cost way too much money, so whoever buys it should just scan all the pages for my poor arse.  Seriously, it’s like 500 American dollars. Do you know what I could do with $500 dollars? I could buy 18 Victoria’s Secret bras and burn them. Or I could just donate it the Orlando Bloom House of Phuckery charity and maybe buy him a week’s worth of acting clasess at the Srasberg Institute.This is getting corny and off-topic, so I shall stop.
Anyway, the book will feature some hot shots of Kate!

I always wondered when that magic moment that Katers became a rexy goddess occurred. Because Kate was “the waif” when she first came out; melancholly-looking as all get out. Then all of a sudden, she was a filthy,rexy goddess.

That magic moment happened because of Mario Testino.

“Mario took me to a new level of glamour. I don’t think anybody had seen me as any kind of sexy model before he did. . . He’d seen me in a pair of heels, getting glamorous – and he was the first to start taking pictures of me in that way. He changed the way people thought about me as a model, for sure. Later other people started working with me in that way, but he was the first.”
And thurr you have it.

P.S. You London hoahrs are lucky.  You can see an exhibit of Rexy Goddess pics through July 15th.

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